Goodbye, My Lover
by doxthextimexwarp
Summary: Life was returning to its normal bleakness until the Class of 2011 Reunion occurs. What's in store for our favorite girl, Clare Edwards? A fake marriage with Adam, a lover once lost now returns. A week of emotions leaves Clare with an ultimatum.
1. Clare

_So these are just ideas that I've been having. This is my way of threading them together. I hope you enjoy it. Please check out my other work. I'm always looking for new ideas and concepts. I love Reviews, so please, whatever emotions or judgements you have at the end of this, please leave a comment._

_Now, without further interruption, here is the first chapter of..._

**Goodbye, My Lover**

She hadn't expected to see him here. Honestly. Okay, sure, there was that small fragment in the back of her mind that kept tinkering with the idea these past few months, but, alas, her judgment always ruled it out.

She had been taken hostage by Alli about ten minutes earlier. Alli, her BFF from high school and college, had recently gotten engaged by none-other than Dave Turner. Gushing excitedly, moving her diamond engagement-clad finger so it caught the dimmed light of the gymnasium that now occupied the Degrassi Class of 2011, she went on about Dave's proposal for the fifth time in the past 48 hours.

Yeah, Clare knew that Alli was beyond happiness at this point. And why shouldn't she be? She had gotten her true love in the end (regardless of how many false dates in college it took for her to finally realize, 3 years post-graduation, that she loved him beyond comparison to whatever boyfriends she "loved." And now, nearly 3 years into their courting, he popped her the question after stopping in the middle the road in Times Square on a short vacation to New York. Alli always loved to stop traffic). Clare was happy for her, truly. I mean, she was now going to be the maid of honor.

However, it was always moments like this, when her colleagues got married or her friends proposed to, that she would feel her heart flutter at forgotten emotions and once more leave her stomach full of led and a need to step into a hot shower and let the steam pull her away.

She looked past Alli's bright eyes for a moment to see if she could find Adam to drag away from her misery when she spotted a figure in a dark suit and messy brown hair talking to another figure but who was dressed casually. The latter was Adam, dressed in a black skinny tie, white shirt, and dark-washed jeans. Even though he was nearly 30 ("Ancient," in Adam's own words), he still would, on occasion, wear his grey beanie cap which was now placed on his head still covering his short hair.

The former, though, caught her in a moment of contemplating contradiction. Her heart instantly told her Eli while her brain told her not possible. What the hell? She tilted her head to the side as she gazed more intently, this time her brows furrowing as she focused on the two men before her. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and for one long moment, took a closer look.

He was tall. At least, compared to her, he was. His hands were shoved in his pockets but a silver glint caught Clare's blue eyes. It had to be a ring on his thumb. His hair mimicked Adam's in length, but he won the award for Hair Fury as he went to brush his fingers through his hair one more time. It just made it more perfect.

But that instant ended too soon when Adam gave a single point in Clare's direction and the man turned, eagerly looking for her, and Clare shot her eyes back at Alli who was now getting to the end.

"And then he took my hand and said, "My one true love, will you marry me?" Alli fell into a sleepy smile as her cheeks flushed a joyous red.

Clare gave a short, curt smile. "How charming," Clare saw Alli's mouth begin to open and instantly rushed through her second comment. "Listen, I have to go grab Adam and head home. I have some papers I need to fill-out before work tomorrow. So rain-check on the rest of the details?"

Alli nodded and began looking around Clare to spot whoever else she could tell. Clare swept in with one quick hug and turned sharply so her back was now to Alli and made her way over to the coat-check set up in one of the open classrooms at Degrassi.

Grabbing her tan coat and Adam's own black one in her arms, she took a moment to catch a breath in the abandoned room. What was she doing? No need to panic. She took one more calming breath and then slowly made her way out. She walked slowly, attempting to take as much time as she could on getting to Adam. She was strolling really.

She walked past a locker that caught her eye. You know, the one where they shared a kiss or two. And then there was the room where they shared that Detention together after skipping Advanced Junior English together and headed to their bench and she screamed. Damn, she wanted to scream in frustration so badly at this moment. Pressing her two of her fingers to her lips, she silenced whatever noise would possibly escape her and went on slowly.

Her black heels clicked on the floor as her only noisy companion. She got closer to the gym door and paused. She was paranoid about seeing him if it really was him but then again it's not like she went up to him and went, "Hi! I'm Clare Edwards. And you are?" But then again, who was she to introduce herself to him when they hadn't spoke in years…

She peered into the gym searching for Adam. Sure enough, in his Adam ways, he was by the food table munching on pretzels in order to fill his mouth to keep himself from telling Alli to shut up about her engagement already. Clare walked quickly over and handed him his jacket. With a quick, "See you later," to Alli, Clare grabbed Adam's hand and lead him to the exit and out towards the parking lot.

They rushed out, Adam following Clare intently as they made their way to the parking lot. Opening the passenger door quickly, Clare threw herself in and shut the door with a slam. Staring out intently through the front windshield, she bit her lip to keep from crying as Adam got in the car slowly, gaping all the while at the frenetic and frustrated girl who was now sitting next to him.

"That went well," he said after a pause. He gave Clare a small smile as revved the ignition and backed out of the spot. He began to drive as Clare sat there stoically, void of all furious emotion. Her eyes glimpsed a chance at the rear-view mirror. Her eyes caught the outline of the front steps of Degrassi. There he was standing there with his fingers in his pockets and his head looking in her direction. Her heart fluttered and her back tingled.

It was just your imagination.


	2. Adam

_So in honor of tonight being The Boiling Point, here's a quick update. I hope it gives you a little more light on the situation. Maybe you have a few guesses? A tease or two delights your attention and captures your thoughts that you just have to tell me about? Review, please, because it means the world to me._

**Chapter Two.**

The car ride was silent. Deadly silent. If Eli had taken up on his offer to come over for a drink after the Reunion to catch up before tomorrow's festivities, he would've made a dark joke to lighten the mood and it would've made everything better.

But yet, here was Adam. With Clare. Alone. In the car. Silent.

Ants could drop and you could hear their screams.

Though it was only a little after ten o'clock, the streets were abandoned as their only captors were the street lamps that lit the lone road. He turned off of main street, headed south past the Dot and eventually turned left into a lone subdivision on the outskirts of town.

It had been Clare's idea, after The Incident, after Adam's surgery, that they continue to live together. It was nice living with your best friend. Well, one of your best friends. But when that one leaves unexpectedly, you hold on tighter to what you've got.

And that was Clare. So they split the cost of a town home and made residence at 645 West Lake Road. It was through one of Adam's connections at the firm that he first heard about it; one of his colleagues husband's owned a construction firm and was attempting to build up the area. But when the housing market went bust about two years ago, that dream burst along with it. And so for a steal, he got the place on first bid.

It was a nice location; it was close to the train station. So close that he could easily walk over in the mornings after waking up with a can of Mountain Dew and a chocolate frosted donut (yeah, Clare was on him about that). And if Clare needed to go to the office, she would walk with him. But it's not like she needed to often, working at a publishing company had its perks.

He would often come home to find her on the couch in her grey sweats and university sweatshirt with her legs draped over the side with a manuscript in one hand and her other hand fiddling with the bottom right corner debating whether to mark it for further fixing or deem it as a lost cause.

He brought the car up to the house and parked it in front of the street lamp that illuminated the sidewalk and the surrounding area mere feet away from their red front door.

He peered over at Clare and she was still sullen and non-moving in her seat staring out the front window. He knew that deep down, he probably should be more concerned. But after years of watching her take on each hurdle on her own, having her silent freak-outs and bursts all on her own, he wasn't surprised to now see her fighting this battle internally yet again.

She would come to him when she wanted to talk.

Maybe.

After all these years, even though she was probably his best friend, he still wasn't good with the whole crying-girl thing. Silently he praised whatever higher-powers there was that made Clare not be such a girl.

In a good way, ya know. Because he still liked the fact that there was always food in the fridge, someone who could press his suit pants at the last minute, and who made the place spotless when the parents came over for their "visits."

He got out of the car and made his way up to the front door, noticing that silently, Clare had gotten out too and had followed him. He took out his keys and made his way through, hanging his coat on the stairway railing (which Clare then immediately removed and placed in the front hall closet) and went to the kitchen to grab another Mountain Dew for the day.

Clare took her shoes off near the door and headed up the stairs towards her room that faced the street. They had decided early on that Clare would take the master upstairs and Adam would claim the basement as his Man Cave. They had an office upstairs that they both shared, but it was nothing special. Now the basement, as Adam headed down their with his can in hand, was awesome.

Growing up it had been the ultimate room that he had always wanted but had never had because of his mother's longings for Gracie (even after the whole fire-burning, there were still moments. But, yeah, it was better. Loads better). Or because he shared a room with a few other dudes at college or he was sharing a room with his brother for a period of time.

He hadn't yet found that private space to call his own little paradise without sand but instead dark carpet with poster-covered walls of the Dead Hands and other bands that Adam had accumulated interest in this past decade.

He had comic book covers delicately placed in black-framed picture holders. They were his spawns, if he ever had to explain his protectiveness of them.

Everything was messy. Just the way he liked it. Clare joked that it was like a tornado had roamed free throughout his room and the bathroom he occupied in the basement, but Adam just took that to mean he was a man now.

And that was the greatest compliment ever. Ever.

He unbuttoned his shirt, slipped off his tie and pants and slipped on an old Wrestler Madness t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and made his way upstairs to refill on Mountain Dew, the Dew of Champions.

When he got to the top, he saw Clare already there in her usual pajamas of shorts and an old t-shirt. It was finally nice to see her comfortable after the professional-wear Clare wore whenever she had to attend night functions like the Reunion they just got back from. Her black heels, black pants, and silk blue shirt were nice enough. But they weren't the plaid-clad Clare he hung out with in front of a baseball game that he would make Clare watch after losing a bet on who could hold their breath the longest in Aisle 7 of Hank's Grocery. He was hoping that the rest of the reunion festivities tomorrow would welcome a looser Clare, and with that thought, he headed towards her. Clare was at the fridge staring at its contents a little longer then necessary when Adam finally decided to say something to pull her out of her trance. "Ya know, if you stand there long enough, you could catch a cold."

Clare turned her head away and tilted her head to the side with a blank look on her face, "Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe you should stay their longer," Adam let a laugh escape as he basketball-dunked his can into the recycle bin and grabbed for another one from the open fridge. He caught Clare's small smile from the corner of his eye and he turned around to ask her one last time, "You want to talk?"

Clare's smile fell from her face and her whole body went rigid. "There's nothing to say," she said quietly. And she gently shut the fridge with a small, "Good-night," and went upstairs with her gaze fallen to her feet and the floor.

He knew he'd find her later in the kitchen, sitting at the small round oak table in one of four oak chairs gazing out the huge window that faced the lake just outside of their property. With nothing but the pale light of the sky and a possible porch light on from one of the neighbors illuminating Clare's face, he would only see shadows.

But he could easily see a few glistening drops leave Clare's deep eyes and make their way down to her cheeks and fall off into a suicidal drop into her frozen tea.

And then he'd leave her alone to mourn.

'_Promise me you'll watch out for her, man?'_

_Adam shot him a look, you've-got-to-be-joking, 'She was my friend before all of this, too, Goth Boy.' _

_His friend nodded a silent understanding. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he made his way to stand up from the bar until he received a pull on his arm. _

'_Just because we're dudes, that doesn't mean you leave without a proper goodbye.' Adam pulled himself out of the chair and gave Eli one last strong hug as he wrapped his arms around Eli's body. In one swift motion, Adam found himself now feeling the warm arms of Eli's in return. After a long-bro-moment, they let go with a simple pat on the back._

'_Later, Machismo.' _

That was the last time that Adam ever spoken to, saw, felt Eli. Until tonight.


	3. Eli

_So after the last episode of the Boiling Point, I think we all, after watching EClare, need a pick-me up. So here I've given you the third chapter in an attempt to take your minds away from the whole situation for a short moment. This is my attempt at giving you a moment of peace._

**Chapter Three.**

Eli felt like shit. Rubbing his eyes, he stared out his hotel window at the darkened sky that cast over the town he used to call home. Wasn't returning home supposed to feel better than what he was feeling now?

No, probably not. And in his twisted way, he felt pleasure in knowing how badly he was hurting. Because ever since three years ago, he felt the need to give himself his own sick justice whenever he could.

His emerald eyes gazed beyond the so-called tall buildings of the inner core, the heart of the town. They were nothing like the city he had been living in the past three years. He had grown accustomed to the skyscrapers and busy streets and lights that took away every thought that occupied his mind. Times Square was a heavenly place as it took away whatever he conscious he had to focus on the mesmerizing display of advertising, people, and a Petri dish of life.

His office was just off of Madison Avenue, the location ideal for reaching Times Square. He could spend hours at one of the restaurants silently reading to himself and occasionally looking up once more in order to forget.

To forget the reason he was here.

Three years had to be enough time. It had taken him a while to get over Julia. But in the span of Clare knowing to Clare becoming his girlfriend, it had been three weeks.

He had now given her three years to move on from that moment.

He hoped it was enough.

Because it sure wasn't enough time for him.

He scratched his forehead and headed back over to the king size bed that took up most of the room. Plopping down and laying his head on one of the firm pillows, he felt just fine still dressed in his dark suit from the Reunion earlier. He never thought he would be one for the formal attire, but, Eli was always one for surprises.

'_Eli in a suit. Who would have thought I'd see the day?' _

_Eli turned around from the mirror and caught the face with the angelic voice that mesmerized every waking and slumber-filled moment. She was standing there in his favorite blue-plaid shirt, the one that brought out her beautiful eyes, and jeans that made her legs look as lustful as ever. A smirk played against her lips as Eli stepped away from the mirror and took a few steps towards her. Closing the gap, a smirk mirrored on his own pale face._

'_Well, take a good look, Beautiful, because today's the day.' And with one final swoop he wrapped his arms around her as his face came down and kissed hers passionately. Her face reddened knowing that everyone in the store was now watching them._

Envy. Eli envied Adam.

He hadn't realized the signs that had been laid before him at the Reunion. The way Adam kept tabs on Clare silently watching her even when Eli was talking to him for the first time in a few years. The way he watched Clare search with expediting nervousness until her face became calm upon realizing that Adam was over chomping on pretzels while listening to Alli. The way Clare grabbed his wrist and grabbed his jacket for him and lead him out the door to their car.

They left together. To their home.

Eli shut his eyes as he attempted to wipe the mental picture of Adam and Clare being together away from his mind. No way, it just couldn't be.

'_Promise me you'll watch out for her, man?'_

Yeah, he had said that to Adam. He had just hoped he wouldn't take it one step further than Eli could. He let a sigh escape his barely parted lips as he further rationalized with himself. Adam was doing what Eli had told him to do, and like a good friend, he did what Eli's last wish was.

He couldn't blame Adam. He knew Clare was a great catch.

His heart broke a little more, shattered a little deeper at the thought. No more, Eli, no more.

He got up off the bed and headed over to his suitcase that lay near the door where he had left it an hour-and-a-half earlier when he first entered the room. Grabbing the rolling contraption, he heaved it onto his bed and unzipped it.

His clothes were a mess. They weren't orderly or anything. You'd think that a businessman such as him would finally get a clue and realize that suits wrinkle if you don't fold them better. Alas, Eli didn't really care. And since he was so good at what he did, no one really cared if he had a few more wrinkles than the next guy. Because he was the brains behind the operation.

It wasn't like he was supposed to be the poster child.

_Eli walked into reunion with his head on the ground attempting to give his thoughts one more moment of privacy before he had to cast them away with a blank face and a plastered smile as he entered the gymnasium. Rubbing his hands through his hair, he took a deep breath and stepped in._

_There were balloons. Everywhere. And streamers. This wasn't supposed to be a high school dance, was it? Was there a theme for this and Eli had missed it? He gazed around and saw that he wasn't the only one in a suit. Because it wasn't that he was worried about not making the dress code, he was worried about sticking out. For the first time in his life, Eli didn't want to be noticed for his differences. If anything, he wanted to fade away. _

_Find her and then fade away with her._

_He went up to the punch station and grabbed a glass and then made his over to a few guys he recognized from Senior Advanced English and went over to shake hands with them. Make it look like you're normal and fit in. They got to talking about who knows whatever god-awful movie had recently released with a nude Pamela Anderson fighting aliens, when Eli stole a moment from the disgusting conversation he was now listening to when he looked up and caught the eyes of none-other than Mark Fitzgerald._

_Fitz, if you care to look for a better description._

_He was in jeans and a mechanics t-shirt, he looked as if he hadn't shaved in a few days and his eyes still held that same animosity since high school. But at the same time, he looked a little more reserved. Probably due to the fact that he had a girl with curly brown hair leaning her chest on his in an extremely…sexual manner. Her tight jeans and even tighter top not bothering to show any modesty what-so-ever. Bianca. The name made Eli's tongue twist as if he had tasted poison. _

_His thoughts wandered once more to the conversation his group was now discussing. Still on the topic of Pamela Anderson's breasts, Eli excused himself quickly and made his way over to one of the opened doors so he could grab some fresh air. _

_He was looking at his nearly-empty glass of red liquid when he neared the open doors. Looking up, he saw the face that had haunted him along with his blue-eyed temptress. _

'_Adam?' The name escaped his mouth before he registered just exactly Eli was doing. Was he ready for contact again?_

_Adam was. And in a quick instant a smile spread across his comrade's face and his teeth began to gleam as he wrapped his arms around Eli and brought him in for a warm hug. It felt like a little piece of home. Their hug lasted for a short moment until Adam pulled himself away to place one of his hands on Eli's left shoulder to keep him from running away._

'_Goth boy, it's been so long?'_

'_Still with the nicknames, Machismo?'_

'_I see you haven't give up on them either.'_

'_Touché.' They paused for a short moment, each deciding what to say next. Their mouths opened but Adam beat Eli to the punch._

'_What are you doing here, Eli?' _

_Eli watched as Adam's eyes flickered over somewhere to the side as Eli answered, 'I just need to figure things out.'_

'_And you thought the best time would be now?'_

'_I thought three years would be enough time…' they let the dead air surround them as they took in the words that Eli had let roll off his tongue. A simple thought. A true thought that he had had this past week._

'_Maybe three years was a little too long.' Adam looked over once more and his eyes came back to Eli. _

'_Clare?' Eli whispered quietly. Adam gave a one finger point into the direction he had been glancing at. _

_It was her, beautiful as ever, glowing with a warm halo around her as the light came down around her. Her blue shirt once more capturing her eyes and once more Eli felt them piercing his heart. She looked down and the moment was broken. He and Adam stood still as they watched her fluster with Alli and then quickly walk away with her back towards them._

_He watched her hips move, how he adored the way she walked. The way her short hair with its wispy tendrils still bounced as she stepped. _

'_Want to come over for drinks tonight?' Adam asked, pulling Eli out of his daydreaming state and back to reality where everything was now becoming once more stone cold._

'_Rain check. I'll see you tomorrow for the rest of the Reunion, right?' Eli inquired. Adam shook his head yes in response and then headed over to the snack table. Eli stalked out the open door and began to walk slowly out of the building. He let his feet shuffle on the cool concrete as the brisk air swept through his jacket._

_He had gotten to the front steps of Degrassi a few minutes later when a car was coming around from the parking lot with its headlights breaking the peaceful night that had enveloped Eli. He stopped and stood, staring at the car intently. _

_He saw curls in the passenger seat and a beanie-headed man driving in front. _

And now life just sucked.

**END of Chapter Three. **

**Please Review/Criticize/Judge. I want to hear from you. Anything. Everything. Check out my other work on my profile; I don't only do Degrassi. Maybe you can find another story that will keep your mind at bay.**


	4. Clare 2

_So, I really want to begin this chapter by saying that for those of you who have reviewed, I deeply thank you. Please continue to do so because it means so much to me to receiveit. For those who haven't reviewed, I would greatly appreciate the response. I don't know if you're enjoying it, if you don't understand something, or if there's something that needs to be explained unless you say something._

_Are you enjoying the flashbacks? It's kind of a new technique for me. So I hope it's getting across to you._

_And after last night's episode, here's another piece of escape:_

**Chapter Four.**

Clare got out of bed that morning, her frozen tea still sitting on the bed stand next to her, with the sun beginning to peak through the white curtains of her room. Even after all these years, twenty-seven year old Clare still had a thing for floral patterns.

Her bedspread was white with interwoven green stems leading to wide open leaves. They were violets, her favorite flower, that then gave presence on the cover. Whenever Adam slept up there he always called them "Grandma covers," but nonetheless, Clare liked them just the same.

She pulled off the cover and brought her legs to the side of the bed. Hopping off the bed, Clare went over to the window to admire the day once more before she had to go downstairs. Spreading the white drapes apart with two fingers, she looked out.

The lamplight was now off, there were a few high school students huddled together on the corner waiting for the morning bus to go to a high school not far from here. There were other brick town homes that lined the street as well. The cars all neatly aligned next to the clean-cut grass. There was the black car that Adam and Clare shared, hanging out underneath the shut-off lamplight.

The car. They shared. Leaving the Reunion. Silent.

Clare felt her heart begin to go numb again and her stomach twisted. These were the moments her therapist had told her would eventually stop. But three years later, they were still happening. Clare took a deep breathe, and told her mind to drift to that one spot where everything was okay.

_Clare felt the sand silently bury her feet in its hold. It was warm, giving her a silent hug as her chilled body became used to the nighttime. She wrapped her jacket tighter around her, her jeans not giving her much heat. She tilted her head back and looked towards the sky. _

_There was Venus, the Big Dipper. And the moon, of course._

_She felt an arm slide across her waist to keep her steady as she continued to gaze at the night sky. A second set of eyes looked up with her. 'Star light, star bright, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the dream I wish tonight.'_

_Clare looked over at the emerald eyes, a small smile dancing upon her pink lips. He turned to look at her. And with a growing smile, Clare asked, 'What did you wish for?'_

'_An eternity with you.'_

Eternity of misery. Clare shook her head and let the memory fade as she headed out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen to make breakfast. Cracking two eggs and putting toast in the toaster, she was on her way to routine once more.

She heard Adam bounding up the stairs and when she looked up a few moments later from the stove, she saw him sitting at his usual spot at the table, looking over another legal brief for an upcoming case. If you had asked her when she was younger what she thought Adam would do later in life, she wasn't totally sure if "lawyer" would come to mind. But now that he was older, Clare couldn't picture Adam doing anything else.

Clare chalked it up to this: Adam liked defeating bullies, even years after high school. Now he could do it legally. Some superhero complex from all the comic books he read.

She heard a ding and pulled the toast out. Placing it on a plate with the eggs that had just finished, she put some butter on it and then brought it over to where Adam was sitting.

"Thanks, Clare."

"You're welcome, husband."

Adam groaned. His face falling into his hands. Clare outwardly smirked, but her stomach clenched. He turned around from his seat as he watched Clare return to the stove and begin cleaning up the dishes.

"We have to do this again?"

"I told you yesterday, my mother is coming on Tuesday. She'll be spending the night again," Clare turned to look at Adam whose mouth was still gaping open in shock. "Don't worry," Clare continued on quickly, "I'll clean up the basement for you. I'll take care of everything." Clare dunk all the dishes in the sink and turned on the faucet to wash them.

"I hate doing this."

Clare let the words of Adam linger for a moment until she turned off the faucet leaving the wet dishes paused in routine as she turned her head over to him. Her eyes hinting at a deep depression, but only just barely so, she quietly acknowledged Adam with a silent thought of, "Me too."

She wiped her hands off on a nearby cloth and went to the table to grab Adam's plate, which held barely any trace of the food that had been on it just a minute or so earlier. She placed it in the kitchen sink as Adam headed back to the basement to do whatever dudes do.

She finished the dishes at a slower pace then normal, an attempt to fill the moments of rest that she had before the picnic later that day. It was part two of the Reunion, Alli had gushed about when she was on the committee for the whole celebration. It was just like Alli to suggest that a party go on for more than one night, she now had to suck up Clare's weekend of peace with the outdoor debauchery.

'_Alli,' she began. 'We all leave high school with the insistence of leaving all those people behind. And now you think that's changed ten years later?'_

_The tan girl giggled at Clare's analysis and offered her own explanation, 'But we come back wanting to rub our newly found glory in other people's faces. And personally, I want to rub it in as long as I can. So the festivities go on!'_

_And with that, Clare's fate was decided._

Clare didn't really want to go. She didn't want to go to last night's gathering either, but Adam forced her and told her to do it for Alli, who would surely be looking for her anyway. And if Clare wasn't there for Alli's sake, Clare would find herself "having to listen to that girl chat twice as long and you'll die before she finishes talking!"

It wasn't that she didn't want to see people. It's just that everyone she had wanted to see she already kept in contact with. Well, almost everyone.

Clare headed to the couch and pulled out a manuscript she had been toiling with for the past few days and began flitting with its pages.

After an hour or so of being lost in literature, Clare folded one last page and then made her way up the stairs to her room. She only had a short time to get ready for the picnic and so after a quick shower, she went to her closet. One side was completely bare and the other counter-part was full with her own clothes, waiting for her patiently to once more refill the closet with their foreign companions.

She pulled out a blue-plaid shirt and a pair of jeans. Threading her fingers through her hair in an attempt to get the curls to dry a little faster, she went down the stairs quickly. Meeting Adam, in his signature beanie, jeans, and laid-back t-shirt with grey sweater, at the bottom with an, "Are you ready?" She grabbed a pair of black flats from the front hall closet and grabbed her black purse that she had hung on the inside of the closet door. Opening the door, she made her way to the car.

'_Now that's the gas. That's the break. Use the same foot. And whatever you do, don't hit anything…Unless it's Fitz,' he said with a smirk escaping on his lips. _

_Clare turned her head to gaze at the boy in the passenger seat and gave him a stern look. His smirk only got bigger as it turned into a grin. Clare started the ignition and lightly tapped the gas pedal expecting the car to shoot forward. All it did was…nothing._

'_Dude, you have the opposite of led feet. You have like, mice feet or something. Not human.' Clare turned her head behind her and caught Adam in the backseat flashing her an evil grin. _

_She stepped a little harder and the car shot forward. She bit her lip, deciding on a force between the two she had just done, and pressed her foot down. The car glided forward as Clare made her way around the parking lot._

_She looked over at the boy to her right and gave him a huge grin of accomplishment. _

_He gave her a cherished response. 'That's my girl.'_


	5. Adam 2

_So I've gotten some really great reviews. This is my thanks. Please Review and Comment at the end because I adore it. You'll find out soon what happened, I promise. Guesses? Theories? I'm all ears._

**Chapter Five.**

The car ride was silent except for a late-Dead Hands album wailing from the car speakers. Clare's eyes were on the road, her lips pursed with concentration. Adam turned his head away from her and looked out the window, watching the houses they passed.

Usually on Saturday mornings, he would watch cartoons.

But now it was like he was stuck in a soap opera drama and all he wanted to do was to turn off the show.

The car slowed and Clare put it in park. Adam looked forward as he and Clare took in the same scene: people. Their whole graduating class. Eating. Talking. Laughing.

And all he and Clare really wanted to do was suffocate and die.

"You sure you want to go?" She asked him timidly.

Adam broke away and glanced at Clare, offering her the best smile he could give her. "Yeah. It's free food." And with that he hopped out of the car, "I'm going to meet up with a few guys for a bit. I'll meet you near the benches over there in an hour?"

Clare gave him a weak nod and a small smile as she headed over to Alli I-Talk-A-Lot-And-Don't-Shut-Up Bhandari.

Adam shifted his eyes around looking for a lone figure until he spotted him standing alone near the swings with a phone to his ear and a stoic expression on his face. Adam walked up to him silently, catching the last bits of heated conversation.

"I need a few more days…I can do the project from here," Eli let a frustrated sigh escape as he threaded his fingers through his dark hair. "Give me a week and I'll have the best god damn presentation ready for you when I get back…Yes, sir, I understand that you're putting your ass on the line for me…Yes, sir, I won't screw it up. Yes, sir, I'll be back on the first plane to New York on Friday night. Yes, sir. Take care." With a snap, Eli shut the phone and stuffed it in his jeans pocket. His hands going to the pockets of his black blazer.

"Eli?"

Eli turned around and faced Adam, his usual dark shirt contrasting against Adam's own non-morose one. Eli shot him a smirk as Adam returned with a smile. They closed the space between them and gave each other one awesome-dude hug.

"It's been to long, Machismo."

"Only because you never bothered bringing your ass back here, Goth Boy." Adam pulled away from the hug with a grin. His smile began to fade as he took in Eli's tired eyes, "So what've you been up to? You stay up late reading comic books again?"

Eli's smirk broadened as he let a small chuckle escape, "Wish I could say it was just like old times. But, no, I've got a few heavy projects in the works. The boss has been on my ass lately for this huge pharmaceutical client, so he wants his marketing presentations to be perfect. And, as you know, that's where I come in."

"Smooth operator."

"That's right." Eli chuckled at Adam's quick response.

Adam's teasing continued, "You weren't so interested in work this much since the last time I saw you."

"That's because the last time I saw you life was great…" Eli let the words falter off of his tongue. Honesty. Adam caught his eyes as he registered his words.

"An escape."

Eli nodded. Adam let the thought go as he attempted to pick up the conversation from its dreary downturn. "Well, you're not the only one making a name for yourself. Guess who just one Family First versus Wells Fargo?" Adam gave Eli a small punch in the arm.

"Nice job, man. Always knew you'd be an awesome fighter."

"Yeah, just outside of the parking lot."

'_I'm not going anywhere.'_

"_Yeah, what about Clare?'_

'_She doesn't get guys. Sometimes you need to stand up for your bud.'_

"Listen, Eli," Adam shifted his eyes away from Eli and looked towards the ground, his sneakers scuffed from his use. "I know you may not want me to bring it up, but as your friend, I'm obligated to…"

Adam looked up just as he saw Eli's eyes look away in pain. Placing a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, Adam pressed on. "Listen, man, I know you still love her after what happened. And she's hurting, man, really hurting. You need to talk to her."

Eli's voice defaulted on him as he asked, "But how? It's not as if she'd forget what I've done."

"Eli," Adam pressed on, his tone becoming harder. He knew that expediting the situation would be the best for everyone. He had lived with Clare for a long time already, and he had protected her. But since last night, he had begun questioning if how he was protecting her was truly the best way. "She needs to know."

'_You don't know?' She asked him slowly. Her blue eyes about to brim once more with a fresh set of tears. Adam was speechless as he watched her form break slowly in front of him. _

_Eli told him to protect her, and he was going to do it. 'I don't know,' he replied calmly. _

_Lie._

_Adam made his way over to Clare and hugged the breaking girl. With all his heart, he cared about her and he hoped that she understood that when he held her tight._

Truth. She needed to know the truth. Eli wasn't the only schemer from their high school days. Pulling Eli a little closer to make him listen, Adam let his plan unfold. "I'm supposed to meet Clare soon by that bench over there," pointing his finger over in the direction of the secluded area. "I'll go over there first and come up a minute or two later so you can talk with her, okay?"

Eli didn't move his head.

"Eli, listen. She needs this. You need this. I need you two to get past this. Please, man, do it for me."

Eli let his eyes fall and he gave a slow nod.

"Excellent, Goth Boy. Always knew you'd bow down to my powers." And with a final gentle squeeze on his best friends shoulder, Adam walked off over to the bench. His hands in his pockets, he waited for the girl that he had watched unravel and who he had helped put together with feeble tape.

She wasn't fixed yet, but she would be. Adam would make sure of it.

_Adam lay in the hospital bed. Surgery done. He felt whole, complete, a new person. But finally the person he was meant to be. He was a dude. Not just between the ears. He opened his eyes and looked around the room. Everything was white and clean. Gross._

'_How are you feeling?' _

_Adam looked up at the voice. It was Clare, sitting in a chair next to the bed with her hand grasping Adam's own. An empty chair sat right next beside her empty._

'_He went down to go grab me a cup of coffee. And a chocolate donut to sneak to you when you woke up, but don't tell him I told you his dirty secret.'_

_Adam smiled. 'Clare, I so owe you big time on this one.'_

_Clare returned the warm smile. 'When the time is right, you'll figure something out.'_

Now. He spotted Clare and gave her wave.

It was now or never. What was it he said that one time?

'_Rip it off like a band-aid.'_


	6. Eli 2

_So originally I was going to split this up, but I just kept writing. Of all the chapters I've posted so far, this is the one I'm most nervous about. I hope it's worthy of your comments. This is when we finally get an explanation out of Eli...You ready for it? _

**Chapter Six.**

Eli stood away from the scene that was now unfolding only a few second walk away from him. Adam had only told him a minute, and Eli knew the clock was ticking. But he just wasn't sure if he was ready for it.

Adam had been. But what if she wasn't? Hell, he wasn't.

_'Decision time. Stay or go?'_

He took one step forward as he saw Adam look around nervously; he couldn't find Eli and Eli knew it. He could back down. Return back to the crowd and leave for good. His hands became clammy at the thought of leaving without her this time.

He took another step forward. And then another. And soon he found himself standing next to Clare and he was staring at her blue eyes, her pink lips, and her fair complexion. She was mad; Eli could tell as her brows furrowed and she looked back at him intently, waiting for him. Waiting for what he was going to say so she could pounce on him with whatever verbal sparring she had prepared for three years.

Eli blinked, and if he hadn't been so quick to read her, he would've missed it. But he saw that one flicker in her eye and it was an emotion Clare rarely gave when she wasn't in privacy: dejected.

"We need to talk," he said quietly. He shot Adam a pleading glance. Adam took the hint and with one last look of worry towards Clare, he mentioned that he'd be waiting at the car for Clare whenever she was ready. And with a hopeful smile towards Eli, he left.

And that's when Clare burst.

Or at least, that was what he was expecting. He mentally tensed himself awaiting whatever verbal abuse she had in store for him, but when he looked back into her blue eyes, he saw her calculating.

He knew her; she was at a loss. For once in her life Clare was caught on the precipice of more than one cliff and she didn't know whether to jump off one or stay in place. He wanted to touch her arm, put a finger to her cheek, press his lips to her own, anything! Just something to physically show her that he was in the moment with her.

But his hands stayed put, his fingers frozen in place, and his lips too scared to move.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly. His eyes traced her features and the more he watched her eyes grow watery, the more he felt his stomach drop and his chest harden and how oh, so badly he wanted to disappear.

A tear crawled down her cheek. "You should be," she shot back. She wiped away the tear stain and looked at Eli with a scorned face. Her lips pressed together. Eli didn't know how to respond. There was dead air, this was his time to begin.

But where was the starting line?

"If you have nothing else to say, then I guess there's no point to this," Clare said slowly. Her lip quivered and she stopped it by biting down. Eli couldn't take it. Pulling out a hand from his pocket, he brought his right thumb up to her lips. He smoothed it against her bottom one, breaking it free from its hold and calming it. He held it there for a second.

There eyes connected and it was just like old times. He felt that electric spark that she gave him and his heart warmed from the long-forgotten love that had been reawakened by the sudden touch.

But then her blue eyes grew weary and she pulled her body away from him and then they were separated again.

And now he was cold.

_The first night alone, all Eli wanted to do was die. More than just die, he wanted to be swelled up in the hell he had created, burn in it, and feel its ire for eternity. Because that was what he deserved. _

_It had only been a few hours since he left Adam, and after he boarded the train heading to God-knows-where, he knew he had royally fucked up._

_Like beyond repair fucked up._

"I have an explanation, Clare." His eyes looked at hers and she was now looking at the ground. "The day before I left, I ran into a guy I used to know…Evan." He saw Clare's lips move as she registered the name.

_'This is Evan,' Eli introduced. Clare extended a hand towards the tall and thin man and offered him a sweet smile. _

_'Nice to meet you, Clare. It's nice to see the treasure that Eli found after losing his conch shell.' He took her hand and shook it steadily, looking at her eyes in a non-friendly manner. Clare broke off the connection mid-shake and excused herself to the washroom, leaving the two men alone._

_'You nailing that?'_

_Eli chose his next words carefully. For one reason, he didn't want his jealousy to slip through once more and cause a ruckus. The second, this was his old friend from before Degrassi, and though they hadn't kept in touch much, it wasn't as if Eli was going to ignore his best friend from way back when._

_Eli pulled himself into the barstool next to him and gave a short reply of, 'Not until the wedding night.'_

_Evan guffawed. 'Aw, man, that sucks. No test run.'_

_Eli attempted at a laugh to replicate the old times, but he just found himself faking it. _

_'Listen man, you want to do a line?'_

_Clare returned from the bathroom with a disappointed look on her face. 'I'm sorry, but I have to get back to the apartment. Apparently Rowling has decided that she will be going through with this and they've sent me the fax instead of Simon. So I have to get home and retrieve it. But have some fun without me, okay?' She gave Eli a warm kiss and with a, 'Nice meeting you Evan,' left in a hurry._

_'Pretty girl. So, you up for it?'_

_Eli hesitated a moment. And with a nod of his head, the two men got up and left the bar. _

"I found myself faking my emotions around him, attempting to be who I once was because I just wanted him to accept me. Be the friend that he once was…I just wanted peace with my past. And I know that sounds so stupid but-"

Clare's face that was once frozen now became moved as a single tear escape her eyes. She let it fall slowly as Eli continued on.

"I thought that this was now my chance to prove that I had moved on. That I had become someone better. Someone who was finally worthy of happiness. And then, he just proved me wrong…"

_'You know, I'm glad old friends never change,' Evan said with a cryptic smile. He pulled out his stash, offering it to Eli._

_'Look, Evan…I don't plan on doing that with you. I just wanted to be alone so we could talk and catch up.'_

_Evan laughed. 'You think you don't do this anymore? We don't ever give this up.' He held it out, inching it closer to Eli's face._

_Eli gently pushed the hand away from him. 'No, really, I just wanted to talk. What have you been up to? Have you found your own girl, yet?'_

_Evan chuckled, bringing the substance up closer to his face. 'Only the ones I sleep with.'_

"I had heard enough. I was about to leave until he," Eli paused for a moment to keep his tears from escaping his now brimming eyes. He looked deeper into Clare's face and saw that her façade had fallen and Eli pressed on, his attempt at getting her to break down her walls so he could finally get through to her and explain how wrongful he was to ever have lead her to put them up in the first place.

"He said a few things that made me question who I was now. If I was ever going to last with you. And though time passes, you never really forget who you once were. And here I was once again, a month before the event, and attempting to revert back to this old persona. I don't even know how I could've been so irrational." Eli threaded his fingers through his messy hair. "I don't even know if this all makes sense…"

_'You can leave man, but it's not as if you can leave all this behind.'_

_Eli turned, his mind telling him to just forget about Evan while his feet stayed put, listening intently to his once-best friend's commands. _

_Evan laughed wickedly at Eli's internal struggle. 'I know you too well, man. Even after all these years. I know that even though you haven't done it you've thought the 'what if?' And if that little glimmer of what you once were is enough of a spark to light the match and burn you down.' __Evan put a hand on Eli's shoulder as Eli looked away. 'You were wicked, man. You think the wicked ever become good? They don't man. You're always going to be that kid who smoke and drank and stole and fought. I don't care what you became when you went to Degrassi, I don't care what that girl has done to you. You'll always be wicked.'_

_And with that Evan gave a sharp slap to Eli's cheek. He turned on his heels heading into an alleyway, his hands in his pockets and his head nodding to some rock song that played in his mind. Eli stood there, his face cold. _

"And so you ran," she said suddenly. "You let the words of a man you barely let into your memory take over you for one night and ruin everything."

Eli gave a slight pause before he responded. "Yes," said Eli slowly along with a dejected sigh. "I knew it was wrong when I boarded the train and left. I knew I had made a mistake. I should have talked to you but-"

"You should've said something!" Clare exclaimed in a growing rage.

"But running away was what the old Eli did. And I was running away, proving to myself that I was still that same punk kid. That same punk kid who wasn't worth your time. Who wasn't worth the happiness of being with you. And so I just fled."

She snapped, "And now you're back."

Eli gave a nod. Reaching out to brush a finger against her trembling hand, he spoke softly, "I told myself that the only way I could test myself to see if I could ever be the Eli you loved was to come back and see you. Apologize, sincerely and honestly and hope that it was enough." Eli's voice broke as he rubbed his other hand against his eyes, stopping a few of the shedding tears. "I just wanted you to forgive me-"

"I wanted to die, Eli," Clare interjected. "You left me a month before we were supposed to wed. No explanation, nothing." Her tears now staining her cheeks as she continued feverishly and with a new-found fury. "I wanted to die so badly that my mother bought what felt like a lifetime of psychiatry sessions at the time. If I wasn't at home, I was at his office talking. About something that shouldn't have happened in the first place, but did because of you! You and your god awful mistakes…" She shook her head and her curls bounced in their devilish dance around Clare's face as her eyes darkened. She took a long look at Eli and then down to her hands.

"Do you know what it's like to be placed on suicide watch?" She asked him slowly, drawing out each word methodically. Eli shook his head as Clare pressed on. "Do you know how awful it is to have Adam always watching you, worrying about you? Even now, years later, he still gives me these looks sometimes…And I think he thinks I'm going to hurt myself again. And regardless of how much I wanted to, once was enough."

She brought her hands up to her eyes to cover the tears and Eli felt his heart break.

He had caused her to nearly take her own life.

It was all his fault that she felt this way for so long.

_Eli wound his arm around her waist and nuzzled his face up to her neck and whispered, 'I love you,' into her ear. He heard her giggle and he felt the vibrations as her back was against his chest. She turned over, her large grey pajama shirt tightening around her as she did so._

_She brought her right hand up to his cheek and smoothed her hand over. 'I love you, too,' she replied back with a smile. _

_'Well, duh, Blue Eyes. We all know that you could never not love this handsome man.' Eli's smirk teasingly appeared upon his face as Clare gave him a gentle punch into his shoulder._

_'I hate you,' she teased. A laugh escaped and soon she found it suppressed by a deep kiss. Her hand wrapping around Eli's neck, he didn't pull away until he had to breathe._

_'Still hate me now?'_

_'You know I never mean it.'_

Clare shook her head. Eli reached out to touch her once more. His finger near her cheek, she pulled away.

"I hate you." And with her words, Eli's once-hopeful heart was shattered.

**END of Chapter Six.**

**Please Review/Judge/Comment. Thoughts? This isn't the end. There's still more to come. I have a few twists up my sleeve. Because like Clare, we have yet to get the full story. **

**Thanks for reading and your continued support.**


	7. Clare 3

_So here's the next chapter. Review/Comments/Judgements are all appreciated. Any flashbacks you really want to see? A glimpse of Clare's dark period will be coming up soon, promise. I really appreciated everything you all had to say about the last chapter. Hopefully you still enjoy this one. Thanks once again!_

**Chapter Seven.**

Tuesday. Today was the day Clare's mother would be arriving and Clare was nervous. Not just about her mother visiting (it was always a little nerve-wrecking having to put on a charade, but deep down, Clare knew it was for the best).

It was the fact that these past forty-eight hours had all been a blur for Clare. She barely remembers storming off away from Eli after telling him that she hated him. How her heart had managed to once more snap in two even though it had already been broken for so long. The fact that after that scene, they hadn't talked. Clare knew it was stupid, the wanting him to reach out to her again when she had basically told him to fuck off. Regardless of how much it hurt her to see him, it was so much better being with him than being without him again. Coupled with the fact that Adam kept checking in on her when he thought she was asleep, just to make sure she wasn't doing something…reckless, Clare knew it was best to keep busy and act normal.

There were tasks to be done, things to complete for the whole charade. Who was she kidding, charade was just a euphemism for liar.

Clare took a few moments to pause before organizing her bedroom closet for her mother's visit by pulling back a white curtain and looking out the window. She saw the lamplight. It was off still, but it would be on soon since the sun was setting. Creating a low amber glow in her room, accenting the shadows of the room's contents against the blank walls.

Clare never put up photos. Because all too-often there was a dark-haired man with a smirk on his face right next to her, hugging her, kissing her, teasing her, and Clare just didn't want the memory. Now, she did have a photo of her and Adam's wedding day.

'_Adam, just give me one photo and I'll give you a lifetime supply of Mountain Dew!' Clare playfully shoved Adam's shoulder back as she held up the camera once more in her left hand. Steadying the camera, she prepared to smile when Adam spoke once more._

'_A lifetime supply?' he questioned her slowly._

'_Yes, you dork. I promise that there will always be Mountain Dew in the fridge for you.'_

_Adam held out his hand for Clare to shake. And as her pale hand entered his, the deal was done. Mr. and Mrs. Torres would have Mountain Dew in their fridge forever. _

_Adam turned his head and plastered that wedding smile and Clare did the same. She pressed down and the shutter clicked. Clare mentally checked off that she now had photo evidence of the whole charade. And with that, they continued on with their list, heading over to Walmart to grab a cheap wedding band._

She left from her spot near the window and pulled out a box of things for this occasion from underneath her bed. First she pulled out the large wedding photo that Clare took, with it's simple black frame around it. She mentally reminded herself that she'd have to hang it up somewhere in the living room. Preferably somewhere her mother would see it often.

The second thing to come out was a set of gold wedding bands. Simple, no stones or anything. They were thin, round, and cheap. They served its purpose for the few days out of the year they had to play house. Slipping hers on her ring finger, she stuck Adam's in her jeans pocket to give to him later.

The third was the set of "trivia" questions that they had come up to keep their story straight. Pulling out the few sheets of paper, Clare made another mental note to go over these with Adam later before her Mom arrived.

She got up and kicked the box underneath her bed again and moved towards the closet once more. She straightened Adam's clothes on their hangers. Her clothes were now relaxed, bunched together, their companion returned once more to fill the space.

Originally, the plan was to just keep one suit in the closet because that was all they needed. But then her mother's car broke down two visits ago and she stayed a few extra days while it was repaired. It was only after a quick story and good behavior after Adam was caught downstairs in the basement lugging clothes in a shopping bag upstairs to Clare's room that the two of them decided that it would be best to just put most of his clothes upstairs just in case.

She shoved the clothes around, her fingers threading in and out of shirts, pants, and dresses to make sure that none of them were bunched up and taking up too much room. She went through quickly, her fingers stopping momentarily on a plastic bag in the back. She pulled back her hand quickly, attempting to stop the memory from flooding in but it was too late.

'_This is it,' Clare said softly to Alli. She felt a tingle down her spine and a small tear enter her eyes which she quickly rubbed away with a delicate finger. She looked at herself and for once, Clare felt beautiful. _

_The dress was a lot more simpler than all the other dresses Alli had made her tried on. The ones with the huge flowers, the large bows, all similar to the prom dresses that Alli tried on during their high school years. But Clare had been caught looking at it and quickly grabbed it due to Alli's rushed comment of, 'Just grab it! We only have an hour before we have to meet Wesley about a possible band playing at your wedding!' _

_It was tea-length, which was nice, since their wedding would be outside in a nearby park close to Clare's church. It was a compromise of sorts; Clare had wanted a ceremony to involve her religion in some form, and Eli wasn't really one for the whole preacher-worshipper thing. Since Eli wanted to make sure that everything was perfect, he had personally talked to Clare's minister for a special arrangement. _

_Clare was going to be the first woman in her family to not be married in a church. But she would get to be the first woman to get married walking on grass instead of cold stone. Eli would have to listen to the man speak, but he didn't have to glance at the stained glass panels when he wanted to fantasize instead of paying attention to his words._

_The sweetheart neckline accentuated her collarbone and shoulders nicely. The dress was just plain white, no lace, stones, ruffles were influencing it in anyway. And there was a thick black ribbon around the waist. A nice 'shout-out' to Eli, as Adam would say._

_It was perfect. And as Alli came up close to her to give her a warm hug, Clare smiled at Alli's teasing words, 'He's going to take one look at you and want to ravish you.' Clare's face became hot as her blush skimmed across her cheeks. Alli continued, this time her eyes softer and her words more quiet, 'No man could ever turn you down in this dress, Ms. Hottie.'_

Right. Clare gave a light shake of her head and got back to her tasks. She shut the closet door quickly and made her way to the blow-up mattress that was now finishing its inflation and shut it off with a quick tug at the power cord. She dressed it in non-Grandma sheets (they were Chinatown Saga sheets that Adam bought off Ebay while at work) and folded up a blanket on the end of it just in case Adam would get cold (regardless about how much he despised her covers, it didn't stop him from stealing them in the middle of the night that one time when she was unconscious in slumber) and then headed downstairs to get dinner ready.

Adam sat at the kitchen table, gently tapping away some Dead Hands beat that had been playing in the car stereo forever. Clare walked over and gently set down the gold wedding band. Watching him slip it on his finger with only a short pause, Clare began the trivia: "Okay, Adam, first question. How did you propose to me?"

'_Hey, Blue Eyes,' began Eli as handed over the daily crossword from the small local paper. 'I'm having trouble with this one. Do you mind?'_

'_What? At a loss for words finally?' Clare teased, a smile edging out from her lips._

_Eli smirked, handing over his pen. He got up from the table and left, taking his dishes to the sink and exiting the room as Clare inquisitively gazed at the puzzle, a pen now caught between her lips as she thought._

_4 Across: What I first pushed you to do when we first skipped class together while at Degrassi. S-C-R-E-A-M._

_9 Down: Most handsomest guy ever. E-L-I._

_14 Down: Two words. Who we saw at our first concert together. D-E-A-D-H-A-N-D-S._

_22 Across: Two words. Where we went on our first date. T-H-E-D-O-T._

_25 Down: Two words. The most perfect woman in the world. B-L-U-E-E-Y-E-S._

_27 Across: We were alone at the beach looking at planets and stars when I told you I wanted to spend this length of time with you: E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y._

_28 Down: Three words. That same night, right after that, what did I tell you for the first time. I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U._

_30. Across: Two words. The most crucial question that I'm waiting on bended knee to ask. M-A-R-R-Y-M-E._

_Clare looked up from the crossword, pen falling from her hand and clinking on the tabletop. A blush escaping across her cheeks. She whisked her head around and there was Eli, true to his words, on one knee, with a black box in his hand. _

_She brought her hands to her warm cheeks as she felt her eyes water in pure bliss. Eli slowly opened the box and inside was a diamond ring. 'Clare,' he began, a deep grin forming quickly. 'You know I love you. And I want to spend forever with you…' Eli gave a pause as a smirk began to form lightly. 'I mean, you know that Adam has been saying forever that we just need to shut up and get married. So, please, Clare, with all of my heart, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?'_

_Clare nodded quickly and lunged at Eli as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her chest moving quickly from a mixture of tears and joyous laughter reverberating through her. She could feel Eli's smile against her cheek as he whispered into her ear, 'Looks like you're at a loss for words, Blue Eyes.'_

_Clare pulled away, rubbing away a few stray tears as her grin grew. 'Yes,' she said simply. _

_Eli's brows furrowed. 'Yes to a loss for words or yes to marrying me-'_

'_You,' she said quickly right before she smashed her lips into Eli's, a warmth spreading across her cheeks and her body as she wrapped her arms around him tightly, winding her body around his. He threaded his fingers through her hair as they pressed their bodies closer to together._

_This was pure happiness. _


	8. Adam 3

_Originally I was going to post this last night. Unfortunately, I was having some problems with fanfiction and my internet connection, so it just never worked out. But here it is now and I just wanted to say that I've never had so many visitors to my stories ever! Nor have I had so many reviews. So in honor of reaching a grand new height, here's my thanks with another chapter. I loved all of your reviews from the last one. I never thought I would get such a loving response to it, but, wow! Thanks. I hope you all enjoy this one just as much. There's more to come. So please, review/comment/judge. I await your emotions._

**Chapter Eight.**

Adam closed his eyes in deep thought. "I proposed to you over dinner at your favorite Mexican restaurant. I got on one knee, you cried and said yes, and boo-yah we're engaged." Adam smiled at Clare who had a small smirk on her face due to his choice of words.

"Correct. Day we were married?"

_January 4, 2020. Adam and Clare just returned to their apartment after purchasing the cheapest gold ring set they could find. Clare grabbed the picture they had blown-up and stuck it in its simple black frame. With Clare's back to him, he still caught her shoulders rise and fall slowly and saw her index finger lightly trace the black border._

_He knew what she was thinking. He knew that she was wishing so deeply that it was Eli in the photo with her instead of a laughing Adam, her best friend. Adam set the Chinese take-out on the coffee table between the couch and the television set. Grabbing a few forks out of the bag, Adam reached for the remote and turned on the T.V. _

_Clare was still standing there thoughtfully gazing at the picture, her brows threaded in deep consideration. When Adam spoke to Clare's psych-dude after she tried to take her life just six months earlier (less than twenty-four hours after Eli left), he was urged to take her mind off of the events as much as possible. Because the first step to coping was forgetting and dulling the pain._

"Don't tell me you forgot already, Adam. It's the day I promised you a lifetime supply of Mountain Dew, remember? It was probably the most important day of your life for that simple reason!" Clare playfully punched his shoulder as she made her way to the fridge to grab a few ingredients for the mashed potatoes she was now preparing.

Adam shook off the memory. Putting a grin on his face, he turned to Clare and gave her a small smile. "Now that you mention it, I think one of those green devils would be perfect for dinner." Reaching into the fridge, Adam pulled out a can of the green fizzy soda and snapped the can closure open with a pop. "January 4, 2020," he replied to Clare.

He saw Clare nod her head slowly as she went to go check on the steak that was now sizzling.

'_Clare, if I have to be your Neanderthal husband, Neanderthal requires meat.'_

'_Okay, okay,' Clare said chuckling. 'I'll let you pick what we have for dinner whenever my family comes to visit. But promise me it won't be cow brains or something that I'll want to regurgitate moments later.'_

_Adam smiled back at Clare. He was enjoying Clare's light mood. This Clare was returning, slowly at first, but after their deal at marriage it was like Clare had become more carefree. More like Clark Kent when he didn't have to face the pressures of being Superman. 'Dude, I bet cow brains are awesome.'_

_Clare put two fingers up against the bridge of her nose and shook her head teasingly. Pulling her hand away she instead playfully slapped Adam's bicep. 'I bet you would.'_

Adam turned away and made his way out of the kitchen and downstairs to the basement where he could stay in his man cave and revel in his own private paradise just a little longer until Clare's mother arrived. It wasn't like he was upset or anything with the fact that he had to pretend to be Clare's husband and all. If he was to be upset with anyone it had to be Eli. Because he was the one who had left her. But more importantly, he left Adam the sole responsibility of making sure Clare stayed okay.

And he had failed when she had tried to kill herself just moments later after making that promise.

_Adam closed the door to Clare's room, leaving the now-peaceful girl in a quiet slumber after watching her cry a never-ending Niagara falls. Adam made his way to the kitchen, for once not stopping at the fridge to grab a Mountain Dew. Instead he grabbed a glass from the cabinet above the sink and turned the faucet on. He filled the glass and then took a slow drink. His mind was abuzz with Eli's constant words of, 'Promise me you'll watch out for her.'_

_His eyes wandered around the kitchen. Clare's bedroom light turned on, but he could hear no fit of tears evolving. So he bid his time grabbing another glass of water and slowly drinking it down. _

Adam grabbed his cell from his pocket. If only he had gone back to check on Clare. If only he had stopped for a moment and had just taken care of things from the start. If only he had just told her the truth about the "Bro Code" Eli had instated. And if only he had done more to follow it.

_Adam stared at the now empty glass, his fingers tracing its edges. He felt a cold shiver run down his spine and he looked around. Something didn't feel right. He looked down at his arms and felt goose bumps. He gave a weak cry, 'Clare?' But there was no reply. His heart sped up. Taking long strides, he reached Clare's room and knocked heavily. _

'_Clare, you there?' He pounded the door. 'Clare, answer me!' It went unnoticed by the occupant inside the room. Backing up, Adam did a mental calculation of what part of the door to kick-in first. After silently becoming relieved he had kept with boxing classes since his Degrassi years, he gave a swift quick to the door and in it flew!_

Adam opened his cell address book, having input Eli's cell the first moment he was alone after leaving him at the park after his conversation with Clare. Eli had slipped him a business card when he had followed Clare to the car. Clare was silently crying and hadn't really noticed that he had been following her, making sure she got to the vehicle okay.

Adam scrolled down the names looking for Goldsworthy.

_Adam scanned the room. The covers had been pushed off as if someone had just gotten out of bed. The windows were closed; she wouldn't have left through the fire escape. He glanced over at the bathroom. The door was closed, but the light was off. _

'_Clare?' he asked quietly. He walked over slowly to the door. It wasn't as if he was going to just enter; you never knew what a girl was doing in the bathroom. Like with a dude, "Bro Code," you don't enter when a man's in the bathroom alone because…Adam shook his head. Now wasn't the time to banter with himself like he usually did. He felt that cold tingle down his spine once more and knocked. 'Clare, I know you probably don't want to talk or anything, but I need to make sure you're alright. Can you at least answer me.'_

_It was graveyard quiet._

'_Clare?' he cried one more time. 'If you don't answer this door right now I'm going to break it down!' No reply. So with that, Adam turned sideways and bashed the door one thrust at a time as his shoulder made contact with the wood. _

_Three beatings later, Adam found himself losing balance as he nearly fell in. Reaching to steady himself over on the bathroom sink, he fumbled a hand over to where the light switch should be. Moving his hand along the wall he gave out a whispered question, 'Clare?'_

_The light came on. And there was Clare unconscious, her body against the cool tile and her eyes closed. Her body barely moving, if she was at all. _

Finding the Goth Boy's name, he sent him a text message. Protecting Clare from not knowing had lead her to near-death. Maybe knowing the truth was now the only way Adam could save her now.


	9. Eli 3

_All I can say is that I'm truly blessed to have such wonderful comments and followers. I have nothing more to add than an extreme and warm thank you to all. _

**Chapter Nine.**

Eli spent the next forty-eight hours in his hotel room. Literally. The first twenty-four was a mixture of sleep, depression, anger, and numb. The next twenty-four was spent with whatever activity Eli could get his hands on to forget and dull the pain.

First, there was the presentation for his boss. That he finished in a record of eight hours with no break; he just wanted to escape. And he did so as he filled in the propaganda between the lines and selling the shit out of that gizmo. If you asked Eli what he was selling, if you had asked him what was he really doing, he couldn't answer. Habit had taken over from these past few years and Eli just did.

Because not thinking was the best part of work.

The next twelve hours was spent watching television. After a quick shower (too much alone time with the mind was a bad recipe for pain) and ordering room service to settle his empty stomach, Eli sufficed with a burger and a plate of fries oozing of ketchup runs. It was early morning, the cusp of late to early. There were therapy sessions and crappy infomercials. And then there were the countless kid networks that always rolled in the early morning if ever there happened to be a waking child. The only safe network would be the news channel.

_It was one of those rare occasions that Eli had gotten Clare to stay up late, past her usual hour of 10 (Yeah, he already knew that that was pretty late to begin with. But Eli's sleeping habits since birth meant that he would never go to sleep before 2 in the morning). Usually he would read, work on another proposal, go for a drive or jog around the neighborhood. _

_But tonight, he had somehow magically convinced the girl to stay up with him. It wasn't anything special, Clare popped popcorn and they watched an action film that Adam had loaned them and told them that their lifetime's happiness had depended on watching it. _

_After that finished, and with Clare rambling on about how could Adam approve of such a film with so much blood in it (which was most likely just diluted ketchup), Eli grabbed the remote and switched through the channels as his other arm, originally draped around Clare's shoulders since the start of the film, brought her a little closer to his side._

_She laid her head on his chest and he could feel the warmth of Clare's cheeks and the subtle smile as her just barely moved. His finger flipping through channels, it wasn't until they came to a Bozo the Clown special did he stop with a sarcastic reply of, 'No wonder I liked this dude when I was younger, he was the only one up when I was.'_

_Clare chuckled at his answer. Eli didn't bother switching the channel and instead they watched him dance around and little kids aim to get their bean bags in buckets. A few moments had gone by and he could feel Clare biting her lip along with her forehead crinkling in thought as her head still lay against his chest._

'_Popcorn for your thoughts?' he asked her quietly. Clare sat up and turned to face him. Eli muted the television and turned to look at her straight on. Her eyes still bright even though she had to be tired at this hour. Her tendrils messier then usual after staying in bed with him for such a long time. _

_She freed her lip of its teeth-hold and quietly asked him, 'Would you ever want children?'_

_Eli tensed for a moment, not expecting her to ask such a question. A few seconds went by and he hadn't responded, his mind to abuzz with what to say and with emotions fluttering around him at a speed that the Flash would envy. 'Listen,' Clare assured quickly, 'I'm not forcing you or anything. I just wanted your opinion. Because you know, you matter, and I just wanted to know because if there ever was a chance I would want to know. But if you didn't want to tell me then okay,' Clare's eyebrows threaded as her eyes began to focus on their bedspread as her fingers began to wrap around the fabric. 'Because I mean, I would love to have kids with you…" Clare let the thought halt in the glow of the television and it became wrapped up in the still air. _

'_Me too,' Eli said slowly, barely audible but just enough so that Clare's mouth turned into a wide grin._

'_Really?' she responded delightfully. _

'_Yeah,' he said decidedly. His arm still around her, he brought her closer as he smashed his lips to hers. Her hands weaving around his neck as they became caught in their emotions. He felt Clare pull away slowly, catching her breath as a red spread out across her cheeks. _

_Eli brought his thumb to Clare's chin, his mouth moving into his signature smirk. 'You're cute when you're flustered.'_

Eli saw his cell glow as it began to vibrate violently on the table next to his laptop. Quickly rushing from his spot from the bed, he practically lept and ran to grab his phone. After two phone calls earlier today from his boss yelling at him that he better not screw up by the time he returns back to New York late Friday night, he wasn't sure why he was so rushed to pick-up a call that was still coming from that belligerent old fuss.

Who was he kidding? He was hoping and praying to whatever ominous force that was present that maybe it was Adam on the other end. Who had decided to give him that chance Eli so god-awfully wanted to make amends more fully with Clare. It was like Adam was playing operator, the whole back and forth. Adam was Eli's lifeline to Clare. His only lifeline and the one who controlled the fate of whatever unabashed hope Eli had tucked inside deep in his fragmented heart. He had to thank Adam somehow for all that he has done so far for him. Because knowing all the crap that Eli had amounted on both Adam and Clare for the past three years when he wasn't present, he knew he didn't deserve either of their good graces or spirits.

Man, he had to thank Machismo somehow for everything.

_Eli waved Adam over to the diner table with a quick wave of his hand . A year after Adam's surgery, it was nice seeing Adam be his self. More than 'between the eyes' as his dude-friend would say. Without getting too cheesy, it was like his smile went a little further, his eyes a little brighter, and yeah- he'd leave the description to be finished by his fiancé. _

_He watched Adam hungrily pick up one of the bread slices and tear it to small edible pieces that he began to pop into his mouth. It was as if all that hospital food from a year ago had transformed Adam into a regular garbage disposal. Not like he wasn't before. But now he was trash-man 2.0._

_Eli smiled as he watched his friend now go through downing a water. Once Adam finished in a matter of three seconds, Eli began talking slowly. He was nervous, though he knew he shouldn't be, this was his best friend after all. More than that, you would say BFFLs according to Alli. 'Adam, you know how I proposed to Clare yesterday and she said yes,' he saw Adam shoot him a 'well, duh' look and so hastily Eli continued. 'Well, yeah, you should know since you helped me plan it. But anyways, I wanted to know if you would be my best man?'_

_He watched Adam pretend to contemplate the matter, his eyes now sparkling with a teasing gleam as he replied, 'I think I need a little more emotion than that…'_

_Eli smirked in return. 'Do you want me to sing it to you? Perhaps serenade you on a gondola in the moonlight of romantic Italy?'_

_Adam's mouth twisted in fake disgust. 'Ew, man, I wouldn't want to do that with you. Who knows what kind of fish you would attract with your fish pits.' _

_Eli laughed. 'So you'll do it?'_

_Adam's mouth turned into a grin. 'Yeah, Goth Boy. Clare's going to need someone to run to when she realizes that you could never match up to these guns,' teased Adam as he lifted up a masculine arm after a long-stint of kick-boxing classes._

'_Whatever, Machismo.'_

'_Oh! And by the way, I will be stealing that marriage proposal idea from you. You never know when I might need it.'_

Eli nearly cried of happiness when he saw the incoming text from the man. For once it wasn't his boss yelling at him to get his ass in gear. It was his best friend yelling at him to get his ass in gear.

645 West Lake Rd.

Lamppost in front.

Clare needs you.

**END of Chapter Nine.**

**Review/Comment/Judge. I await all of your thoughts.**

**More to come soon. I anticipate finishing this story by the end of the week at the latest. **


	10. Clare 4

_Well, I hope this fulfills some of your wishes on the flashbacks. I hope this chapter is just as worthy of your comments as the others were. Thanks so much for the continued support! You have no idea of how it's such a positive impact on me. Please continue to review/criticize/judge, I look forward to all of your thoughts. _

**Chapter Ten.**

When Adam returned from his man-cave-turned-comic-shrine, now dressed in mother-appropriate khakis and a crisp polo, Clare told him to "man the steak" for a few minutes while she went upstairs to don on her own outfit for the night.

Clare put a lot of thought into the charade she had established for her mother. It wasn't just some easy task to complete, it was more of an organized battle strategy in order to keep her mother from prying into her life.

_Four months after her suicide fail, Clare found herself at her old home from high school living with her mother. She knew that the reason for her doctor recommending that she return back to her roots was so Clare could find balance in her life. But all she really found was another reminder of broken relationships. _

_There were no family photos on the walls because every photo contained her father in it. Her mother was always the one snapping away, while her father always jumped in with her and Darcy to do whatever pose her mother was instructing them to do._

_That all changed during Clare's senior year of high school when her father finally stopped jumping in and instead jumped out. Leaving Clare, Darcy, and her mother, Helen, stuck in the painful moment of having lost their fourth member. _

_Clare busied herself in manuscripts that her office still faxed over. Reading was her only real escape from the memories that fade but never leave. She did more and more of it lately, unable to stand the constant companionship of her mother who insisted on reflecting the movements of a helicopter as she hovered over Clare 24/7. There were no closed doors, no closed shower curtains, and whatever else Clare's mother could think of._

_Clare understood her mother's rational. But Clare hadn't gotten a private moment to just breathe. And if you don't have the power to just breathe alone, what power do you have, if any?_

Clare took a deep breath as she silently undressed. She pulled a yellow floral dress on, and tying a red belt around her waist, Clare made her way downstairs as she silently closed the door to their bedroom.

_Clare wanted control in her life once more. She couldn't gain it back if someone else was still making all of the decisions for her. And so when Adam came over for dinner, she took that step. The occasion was to celebrate Clare's continuation of living half-a-year after The Incident. It was her mothers idea, of course. Only she could find some reason to make a fancy dinner out of a morose event. _

_It was when Adam was chomping down on a slice of chocolate cake and her mother had gone to make coffee that Clare made her proposition. Clearing her throat, she glanced a look over at Adam before she resumed teasing her fork against her uneaten cake slice. 'Adam, you know how you said you owed me one? Since I took care of you after your surgery about a year-and-a-half ago?'_

_Adam stopped chewing and hesitantly put his fork down on the porcelain plate. 'Yeah,' he said. A hand moving up to his mouth to keep the chocolate cake bits from spitting out of his mouth as he finished chewing quickly. With one big gulp he continued, 'How could I have forgotten?'_

_Clare gave him a shy smile as she began the rehearsed speech she had been practicing all day in her mind, 'I really want to move out. You know how watchful my mother is and I just need some space. But that's kind of difficult to have happen because of my…situation.'_

_Clare caught Adam's eyes glance down at Clare's nervous fingers as she continued on quickly, 'You know the only way I could ever convince her or Dr. Yeardley is if I can find another person to live with who wouldn't mind acting as a guardian in a way…' Clare became flustered. She had been hoping Adam would've just said yes by now. 'In a way to make sure that I never do this again. And you're one of my best friends and no offense to Alli, but I'd prefer staying with someone who doesn't constantly chatter. And I was thinking that we could rent an apartment somewhere, wherever you wanted to, and I could have my own room with a door that closed. I could make it work for you as long as you just tell me what you want and I-'_

'_Clare,' he slowly interjected. 'I'll do it. But you have to promise me, if you ever repeat the events of that night again, you go back to living with your mom or to that hospital. I can't do that again, Clare…' The words fell in the air slowly as Clare began to understood what Adam was asking her to do._

_She nodded her head slowly, 'Right. I promise.'_

Clare entered the kitchen and relieved Adam of his duty as meat-watcher. Pulling the meat off of its cooker, Clare placed each piece on its own plate gently. Checking the clock on the microwave, it was nearly eight o'clock. A little late for dinner, but it was the time Clare's mother had told her she'd be there expecting a fabulous meal with her daughter and son-in-law.

Clare bit the inside of her cheek hoping the meat wouldn't get cold too soon. For the third time that day, Clare began fixing the silverware to make sure it was at the perfect angle and neatly polished. She stopped once she got to her own place setting. After tracing a finger around the spoon's contours, Clare brought it up to the light to inspect for whatever smudging she might have left on it.

All she saw was her reflection.

_Clare had woken up after her crying fit (how long had it been exactly since he left her?). She didn't want to think about the details. She sat up in bed and looked around the room, her eyes hazy from all the tears. It was dark out and there wasn't much illumination of the moon reaching the room, so Clare reached a shaky finger out to where the light switch was and flipped it on._

_The first thing Clare noticed was that there was no Adam. The man who had insisted on being with her at her apartment these past twenty-four hours as she continually cried had finally gotten up and left her. The next thing she noticed was the bathroom door open and that gave Clare an idea._

_She whipped off the covers and brought her feet to the ground. It took her a minute to become comfortable to the cold floor as an icy shiver traveled through her. She brought a hand against her forehead as she attempted to straighten out her thoughts. But it was all the same. He. Left. You._

_She made her way to the bathroom, her legs shaking at the prospect of what she was about to do. After turning on the light, she pulled open the cabinet above the sink and looked at its contents._

_The first one that stuck out was her razor. That was a given and solid attempt. But then Clare thought of Darcy and how she had looked afterwards. More importantly she thought of how Darcy had failed. Clare wasn't one for failure, even in death._

_The next few objects were medications that Clare had left over from Adam's surgery a little over a year ago. She knew it was stupid to have kept them, but it was one of those just-in-case things if Adam ever needed them. _

_Well, now she did._

_She grabbed the pill bottle and traced the jagged grooves of the white plastic lid. She glanced out of the bathroom and saw that the door to her room was still closed. Still, Clare felt the need for more privacy for something that was so…_

_Private. _

_Clare grabbed the door handle and hastily, silently shut the door. Turning her attention back to the object in hand, she undid the lid. Dropping it into the bathroom sink, she stole a glance at her reflection in the mirror. _

_She looked like hell. And she felt like it too. _

The bell rang. It broke Clare's thoughts and her body shook in surprise. The spoon clattered to the floor as Adam called out, "I'll get it!" Clare reached down to grab the silver object. Her fingers gently touched the cold tile and she closed her eyes attempting to will herself to not remember.

_Clare turned off the lights so she wouldn't have to look at herself any longer. He must not love you. He. Left. You. Clare grabbed the glass she kept nearby the sink and filled it with water. Setting it beside her, she grabbed a few pills from the bottle and threw them into the back of her mouth. Quickly she reached for the water and took a sip, wiling herself to swallow all of the contents in her mouth._

_She took a breath. She still felt like shit._

_She spilled out a few more pills into her palm as she shook them from the bottle. Violently she dropped them into the back of her mouth as she grabbed her water glass. Taking another sip, she forced herself to swallow once more._

_She could still feel._

_She grasped the yellow prescription bottle into her right hand. She brought it up to her lips as the very last of the pills slipped past and dropped to the back of her throat. Clare grabbed the glass and tilt her head back, urging all of the white splendors to reach their destination. She took a long sip and swallowed. And swallowed once more to make them all go down. _

_Her throat was dry and hurt._

_He. Left. You._

And that was all Clare could recall.


	11. Adam 4

_I hope this story is still living up to everyone's expectations and hopes. This chapter signifies the real beginning of wrapping up loose ends and whatever questions you may have. Once again, I extend an enormous thanks to all the reviews and helpful advice all of you have shared. I love hearing from you, so please, don't hesitate to say what's on your mind. I'm finishing this story by the end of the week, so expect more updates to come soon! Thanks for all of your continued support._

**Chapter Eleven. **

When Clare had first asked Adam if she could live with him, he'd paused to contemplate his answer. He knew it would be a yes, he owed her one after she'd spent a few months coming to his rescue and care with whatever need he had had when he was on his own after his transitional surgery four years ago (his family had been unable to be at his constant side like Clare due to Drew's blossoming football career).

When Clare had first asked Adam if she could be his pretend-wife for her mother's sake, he'd paused once more to contemplate his answer.

_It was a year since The Incident, and nine months of living together since Clare left her mother's house. She had just gotten off the phone with the Inquisition, a.k.a. Helen, when she let out an exasperated sigh. Adam looked up from his comic book that he was reading on the couch as Clare flopped down on the seat next to him. 'Let me guess, Ms. Monster called and she's wondering when she can come over for the Mash?'_

_Clare shook her head and shot Adam a small smile, 'No. Nothing of that sort…' Clare's eyes grew soft as she began to look down at her knees. 'She just wants to know when I'm going to find another companion.'_

'_You mean like a roomie?' Adam asked quickly._

'_No, no. Like a husband.'_

'_Oh,' Adam responded quietly. _

_Clare gave a quiet pause as she looked down at her palms, 'She just keeps asking questions and pestering. Lately her recent inquisition is about my love life and I just don't want to talk about it with her. It's none of her business and it just-'_

'_Hurts that much more when she does,' Adam said as he filled in the blanks of a now nervous Clare._

'_Yeah…' Clare spoke softly. Adam watch her close her eyes and shake her head. 'Listen, I know this is going to sound random but I've been thinking about it for a week or so now. And I was wondering,' Clare turned her head and shot Adam a pleading glance. 'Would you want to be my fake husband?'_

_Adam was shocked. Of all the devious plans and propositions he'd ever been involved with Clare in, this was definitely the most outlandish of them all. _

'_It's just to get my mother off my back when she visits and calls. I just don't want her to be concerned or anything. If you happen to find a soul mate and you want to marry her instead, I'll fake divorce you or something when the time comes. Please, Adam? I just can't take the constant questioning about…matters of the heart.'_

_Adam watched as her eyes began to shimmer and she turned her head away. She was thinking about Goth Boy. Best Friend. Look out for her. Bathroom floor. Alone. _

'_Yeah, I'll do it,' he said suddenly. He hadn't realized he'd already made the decision as the words spilled out in a rushed fashion. 'But you owe me now, wife.'_

'_Anything,' Clare replied as she gave Adam a warm hug. _

Now when Helen, Clare's Mom, asked him something, Adam didn't even need to think about it. The answers were all rehearsed and easier to fire off after Clare's constant practicing. And when he couldn't, Clare would reply for him since she always lead the conversation. All Adam had to do was chew, swallow, smile, and make sure to use his napkin instead of his shirt.

"So," began Helen as took a sip of iced tea, "Tell me that story of your wedding day again. I love romantic stories."

Adam had this answer right up his sleeve. Placing his fork on his plate, he looked over at Clare, who he could tell was shook up by something underneath the calm facade she had in place for her mother. He attempted to sooth her nerves as he shot her that watch-this look of his as he began to smooth talk Clare's mom. "Well, Helen, you know how Clare and I just got wrapped up in our emotions for each other suddenly. So one morning, I woke up and the sun was shining. I took one look at pretty Clare over here and I just knew that today was the day. So I got her up, made her coffee and took her to court. Two hours later we're at MacDonald's sitting there watching the early crowd begin to roll in as Mr. and Mrs. Torres."

"Oh," Helen gushed. "I love it when the man takes charge and just goes for it." Adam shot Clare a teasing wink. "If only I could have been there…" she shot Clare one of those disappointed-mother looks that Adam had still often received from Mrs. Torres.

"Yes, Mom, I know," Clare began quickly. "It was a spur of the moment thing. Sorry we didn't think of calling you. What can I say? I was too caught up in the day." Adam watched Clare shoot her mother a smile (fake, fake, and more fake) as she began to clear the dishes from the table and dump them in the sink. Adam chewed the rest of his steak in two bites and then carried the plate over to Clare.

Giving Clare a playful shove while Helen's back was turned, he shot her a smile. He noticed her fingers had finally stopped their light shaking that had begun since early dinner. It had begun when Adam had returned to the kitchen now accompanied by Ms. Edwards. He saw that her eyes were closed in deep consideration as she held a spoon in her hand that was silently shaking. It had been Helen, this time, who had pulled Clare from her thoughts with an interjection of some sort like-

"Clare, honey, if you don't mind I think I'd like to go to bed now. Long day with the Church Girls. Where should I put my things?"

Clare turned away from Adam, "You'll be in the basement, Mom. As always." Clare rolled her eyes and Adam coughed back a laughter.

"Here, Ms. Edwards, I'll go grab your bag from the front hall and bring it down for you," Adam said. He left the kitchen and he could've sworn he heard Ms. Edwards call him a "gentlemen." Wait until she saw the new posters of GOON he'd put up since her last visit a few months ago.

Leading Helen into the basement, he nonchalantly (okay, he hoped he at least sounded like it was nonchalant) asked, "So how long do you plan on staying with us this time, Ms. Edwards?"

"Oh, not long. Just until Saturday if you can spare giving up your husband's quarters for a few nights," she said while she gestured to the posters and other induce-mother-to-vomit widgets he had spread around the room.

Adam smiled at the thought. "Well, Helen, I'll leave you to relax for the rest of the night. See you for breakfast in the morning. I think Clare's making omelets, so it should be worth getting up for."

"Ah, you men and your food," Helen said with a content smile on your face. "Well, good night." And she turned away from him and headed up to the bathroom.

Adam went to grab a comic book off his bookshelf to take upstairs with him when he heard the bell ring from upstairs. He heard the shuffling of Clare's feet as she headed to the door.

_After receiving a tearful and pleading call from Clare moments earlier, Adam found himself outside of her dark apartment. Adam could hear the constant sniffling of the girl on the other side as she opened up the door. Adam took one look at her before he enveloped her in one giant hug. Among her constant cries of, 'He left me,' Adam had lead Clare to her bedroom. He pulled back the covers for her and she slowly fell into them. 'He left me, Adam, he just left.'_

_One part of Adam felt that he should just tell Clare the truth. Then there was the second part that told him to lie and play the part. Among all the duels of decisions Adam had done within himself, this was by far the most scar-induced battle he had been in. Needless to say, the latter won. 'Are you sure, Clare? I mean, you sure he didn't just get called into work or something?' Adam questioned her slowly._

_Clare reached over for a plain white note card and haphazardly threw it at Adam. It fluttered down to his lap and he looked at Eli's messy writing:_

_Can't do this anymore. Sorry._

_It was a simple note that could have been addressed to anyone, to any situation besides Clare and Eli's. The only way you could have known it was hers to receive was the fact it had become tear stained._

_He saw Clare glance at the bedroom door, still open from when Adam had brought Clare in earlier. Her eyes began to glisten as Adam saw a fresh set of tears form. 'You think he's coming back?' Adam asked her quietly._

Adam turned away from the bookshelf quickly and headed towards the basement stairs. He rushed up two steps at a time. He knew exactly who was at the door. He ran out of his private paradise to greet him, hoping to reach him before Clare slammed the door in his face. If there was any chance to salvage a relationship between Eli and Clare, Adam had to keep the door open.

_'No,' she replied in a near-whisper. And then once more the girl began to cry._


	12. Eli 4

_I feel so blessed for all of the reviews and comments and suggestions I've received. I hope you all realize how deeply thankful I am. Please continue; I love hearing from each and every one of you. So with this chapter, I hope to shed a greater understanding of Adam's recent reactions to Eli's return. On another note, there's a lot more that happened that fateful night with Eli._

_Are you sure you know the whole story?_

**Chapter Twelve.**

Eli ran out of the hotel and waved for a taxi. He waited for one of the yellow whizzers to stop, but he was never given the hopeful sound of screeching tires and a call of, "Where to?" He let out a tired sigh and a few cuss words as the sixth taxi went past him.

"Sir," Eli turned to look over at one of the teenagers who had been at the front desk. "I couldn't help but notice you're having difficulty finding cab service. May I assist you in getting to your destination some other way?"

Eli shook his head hastily and the young girl brought him over to the front desk as she rang up a local black car provider. He began to tap his foot against the wood floor and madly thread his fingers through his messy hair.

"Sir?" Eli looked up at the young girl. "The car will be here in about ten minutes. Perhaps I could offer you a cup of coffee until it arrives?"

_When Eli first woke up that first morning alone, it was to the smell of coffee. His back was stiff from sleeping with his back against the uncomfortable seating of the train. He twisted his neck and then looked up at the young man pushing the dining cart. _

_He pulled out his wallet and hastily gave him a few bills as he reached over for a cup of the black liquid. _

_At first he didn't really comprehend the situation. In his dream state, Eli had fabricated a happy ending of Clare crawling into bed with him, snuggling up against him as he pulled her cold body a little closer to his to warm it. He traced circles against Clare's shoulder slowly and methodically until he could tell that the girl was finally in deep slumber as her breathing became slower and her mouth was slightly open, her pink lips just barely parted. _

_It was always that time at night when he was still wide awake that he'd talk to her. Tell her about his day, tell her about his thoughts and any new one he had managed to come up with as he spiraled one of her golden curls around his finger. He hoped that didn't come off as stalker-ish as it would appear to the outside world. If anything, it was his favorite time (right after whatever moments he could steal a glance at her when she wasn't looking or he could capture her sweet lips in his) for the simple reason that he was truly bearing his soul to someone. Even if the other party wasn't really conscious of it._

_But it was now, in his dream, that Clare had finally awoken when Eli had dipped his head down and kissed her forehead tenderly. She opened her eyelids in a sleepy flutter and Eli watched as she slowly regained reality's hold. She looked up at him and gave a slow smile._

'_I'll always love you, Blue Eyes,' he said as he wrapped his arm around her a little tighter. _

_Clare's smile grew wider as she brought lips closer to Eli's own. 'I'll always love you, Eli.'_

And the dream ended because of coffee. He vowed to never touch that crap after the last good moment he could possibly ever have with Clare, even though it was of extreme fiction, was broken because of that toxic liquid. He nodded his head no and told her he'd wait outside for the car.

_After meeting up with Evan, Eli began heading back to the apartment, hoping that Clare was still up so he could hear her excitement about the upcoming wedding. So he could hear how happy she was to be with him. How he was worth it. _

_His feet shuffling against the ground slowly as the night began to slowly chill, he reached the subway station and went down into the dark underworld of the city. There weren't many people on the silver tube this late at night, so Eli had a whole bench to himself. _

_He laid his head back against the cool metal wall and closed his eyes. A slow smile crept slowly across his face. _

_He couldn't wait to see her._

The black car had barely come to a stop when Eli jumped in and ordered the driver to head to Adam and Clare's home. Eli glanced at his cell to check the time. It was already a half-past eight. He pulled his seatbelt on and began tapping his thumb against his knee impatiently.

He couldn't wait to see her.

_The cool metal felt good on the back of Eli's neck. It was soothing, calming as his thoughts took over. He couldn't really believe that in about a month he would be wed with Clare. Was a dude supposed to be this excited? Or were they supposed to have cold feet?_

_Because his feet were at normal temperature. But they did feel a little stuffy in these shoes that Clare had picked out a few weeks earlier for him. _

_Eli felt a vibration in his jeans pocket and he opened his eyes. Quickly silencing his thoughts as he pulled out his cell, he glanced at the number. It wasn't one he recognized, but answered anyway just in case it had anything to do with Clare._

"Clare?" Eli answered. After a single ring from a secured number (it wasn't Adam, since Eli had quickly input that number into his contacts list immediately after receiving his text), Eli picked it up quickly with the hope that maybe it was her on the other end.

It wasn't.

'_Hello, Elijah Goldsworthy speaking,' Eli said into the phone. _

'_Elijah, we need to talk about Clare. Can I meet you for coffee in twenty minutes?'_

"Who? Listen, Eli, it's your boss. I just wanted to check in with you to make sure that you had finally finished that presentation. It's important that our company remain its status as the top PR company in New York. And if you aren't doing what's best for the company, you can guarantee that your ass will be in hot water when you return. Because I swear if you mess up this proposal after I give you until Friday night off, I will personally-"

Micro-manage much?

"Yes, sir, I completely understand. I can send you what I've already completed today in an e-mail once I get back to the hotel." Eli rolled his eyes.

"Oh, well, good. I expect to see you in my office bright and early Saturday morning after you arrive. I'll need to have you check over a few other projects and proposals."

"Yes, sir. Friday night flight and Saturday morning work. Gotcha. Anything else?"

"Well…Yes, actually, there is. The office is abuzz with what could possibly keep you on extended stay for a few more days. May I ask what exactly has gotten your attention?"

Eli looked out the window as the car slowed down. He saw the car that Adam had driven, the lamppost with its bright light illuminating the street, and the front door to the brick town home of 645 West Lake Rd. Clare.

"Life, sir," he said simply.

"Didn't know you had one," the old man said with a chuckle. "I'm glad you found it."

Eli looked out the window and saw a shadow of a woman at the kitchen sink. Her face was down, but Eli knew who it was without needing to see more.

"Me, too." Eli snapped his phone shut and handed over the driver some bills. Getting out of the car, Eli took a deep breath. It was now or never. Walking up the sidewalk, his hands began to sweat and he rubbed them quickly on his jeans.

He got up to the door and took another slow, deep, calming breath. He rang the doorbell and he heard feet hitting the wood floor on the other side.

"Hello, can I help you?" the voice called out as they opened the door. Clare.

Eli took in her yellow dress and her curled tendrils and her pale skin and sparkling blue eyes for a moment. He told himself to breath. He heard a thud and he turned his gaze away from Clare and saw Adam who was now on the floor.

"What's up, Eli?" called Adam as he began rubbing his knee slowly. Eli made his way over the door opening and extended his right hand to help his friend up after his loud fall upon exiting the basement. Adam reached for it and when doing so, Eli felt a cold metal touch his sweating palm. He looked down. It was gold, thin, and round.

He quickly looked over at Clare, who now had her arms crossed around her accompanied with a look of extreme anger. He glanced at her left hand. Gold, thin, and round. Just like the one on Adam's own finger.

He did a double take at Adam's hand, which he was still holding tightly.

No.

Eli turned his back from Adam and made his way towards the front door. He was angry, why wouldn't he be? His best friend and ex-fiancé were married.

Shit.

But how could he be mad at them? He had left. Just like he was now as he walked out of the front door and made his way to the sidewalk he had left just moments ago. If Eli was to be truthful, if Clare was going to be with anyone, he was glad it was Adam. He would treat her right.

_'Just because we're dudes, that doesn't mean you leave without a proper goodbye.' Adam pulled himself out of the chair and gave Eli one last strong hug as he wrapped his arms around Eli's body. In one swift motion, Eli found himself hugging back Adam tightly. After a long-bro-moment, they let go with a simple pat on the back._

_'Later, Machismo,' Eli said. He stood there for a second, contemplating what else he could say…He wasn't ready to part just yet. 'Listen, man,' he saw Adam cock his head to the side as Eli began to fluster as he looked for the right words. 'Thanks. For everything, now, future, and past. Just, everything.'_

'_Goth boy, though I can appreciate how sappy this moment is for us dudes, that's no reason for you to become a girl,' Adam said as a smirk curled across his lips._

"Eli, man, it's not what you think!" Eli felt a strong arm turn him around quickly. And soon enough, Eli was looking into the deep eyes of Adam Torres, his best friend. "Just come inside, and we'll talk. Whatever thoughts you have going through your head right now, they aren't true."

"Adam," Clare began forcefully. Though she had been silent during the whole greeting, she now began to speak. "I don't want him here."

"Clare," Adam turned to her and replied just as stubbornly. "This home is half mine. I get to invite people in, too. So, Eli," Adam paused to turn back to Eli. With a wide smile he brought Eli into a warm hug. "Welcome home."

_Eli had begun to turn around and leave when he felt Adam's strong hand stop him. 'Eli,' Adam began. Eli watched as the boy began to fidget with the beanie on his head. 'You know that regardless of what you're doing, you'll still be my best friend.'_

'_Really?' Eli asked, slightly shocked at Adam's confession._

'_Yeah, man. We've been through so much already together. My surgery, college, and who can forget Fitz from Degrassi? I'll always welcome you back. What does that rocker say? With arms wide open or some crap like that?' Adam offered Eli a deep grin as Eli enveloped him in one more hug._

'_Thanks, Bro.'_

**END of Chapter Twelve.**

**Review/Comment/Judge. I await all of your thoughts. **

**As I already said, I'll be finishing this story by the end of the week. No exceptions on my part. I can't wait for you to join me in the end.**


	13. Clare 5

_Have I mentioned that I have some of the best readers and reviewers on fan fiction? Seriously, I give you all my enormous thanks for reading and offering me your comments, suggestions, and reactions. I feel privileged to have impacted some of your lives so heavily. I just hope I can continue to do that as much as I can with these next few chapters. As always, continue to review. I look forward to all the thoughts you have. _

_Here's part of the marriage conversation you've all been waiting so patiently for. More to come soon and swiftly, I promise. _

**Chapter Thirteen.**

Clare stood stiff. Adam was doing what? She watched with cold eyes as Eli came into the house once more, but now with Adam's arm wrapped around him. Eli looked at her and Clare instantly turned her head away.

Her head was about to implode with all the possible reactions she had flowing through her mind. There was the most obvious one: she wanted to smack him. After she had told him his reason for leaving, she couldn't believe how childish he had been. It was just all so ridiculous.

Then there was reaction number two: giving him the cold shoulder and heading up to her room. Adam could bring him into the house, because he was right, it was his home too. But that didn't mean she had to welcome him by taking his jacket and hanging it up for him in the closet, nor did she have to charm him in conversation and wit and then proceed to ask if wanted ice in his water.

Because the lord already knows how chilly and still the air had become now that the three of them were standing in the front hallway, the two men waiting for her to react.

But Clare was still solid as she glanced at her feet. Because deep in the back of her mind, where she had pushed all of the lingering memories and fantasies of hers that she no longer wanted to witness, an emotion had crept upon her. And Clare was trying so hard to just let it go so she wouldn't do it. Clare may have been weak to whatever feelings she had had in the past. Hence, how reckless she had been that first night alone; how she had bent down to their strength until her rational mind could take over months later.

But now Clare found that her rational mind was weakening as she felt her heart flutter in a frenzy and all she really wanted to do was kiss him.

And that was purely wrong.

"Clare," Adam began forcefully. Clare looked up at her pretend husband, but most importantly, friend, with a pleading glance to get Eli out of here. But Adam would have none of the sort. "You and Eli need to talk. I've let this go on long enough and I won't let it-"

"Quiet, my mother's downstairs," Clare snapped.

"Then head upstairs," replied Adam stubbornly. "I'll be in the kitchen." He turned his back away from them and left the front hall.

Clare was still avoiding Eli's eyes when she made her way to the stairs. She unwrapped her arms from herself and placed one hand on the banister as she made her way up. She hadn't realized how nervous she was until her thumb slipped on the wood.

She kept her head low as she made her way into her bedroom. Holding the door open for Eli, she watched as two jean-clothed legs entered her room. Shutting the door quickly, Clare let out a deep sigh as she brought her arms around her chest once more.

She looked up and caught him staring out her window, pulling back the white curtains so he could see the whole street. "That's my favorite window in the whole house," she said slowly. She crossed over towards the window, pulling back the curtain. Her shoulder was just a few inches away from brushing against his. "You should see it when the sun sets. I've never seen a more radiant glow."

"Clare, listen, I am so sor-"

"Eli," Clare said quickly. She let the curtain fall from her fingers grasp. She could feel his eyes on her, his questioning and wondering gaze waiting for her to respond. But Clare was so unsure how to. "Let me be honest here. I have no idea what I should say first." She turned her gaze away from the outside world and up into Eli's eyes, "How did you even know where I lived?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Eli replied lightly.

"Adam. Go figure," she said with a slight shake of her head.

"So…you're married now?" Eli asked quietly.

Clare shook her head quickly. "No, it's just a charade for my mother. She was getting a little too involved in my love life and I just wanted to get her out of it-"

"So you aren't sleeping together?" Eli inquired hopefully.

"God, Eli, it's not like that," replied Clare hastily as a light blush spread across her cheeks. She motioned to the blow-up bed on the floor. "He sleeps on Chinatown Saga sheets. As if I would ever sleep with someone who insisted on sleeping on those particular bedding covers," teased Clare.

She felt a small smirk begin to form at that thought but quickly halted it mid-rise. "What are you doing here? Like, really doing here. I mean, I thought you were done with me," letting the words fall into silence.

"Clare, I was never done with you…"

"But then you left. And apparently only because of this Evan guy? You really expect me to believe that he was the sole reason? How naïve do you think I am, Eli. What are you not telling me?" Clare's words were harsh, coming out as fatal acid. But the words were burning more than Eli as Clare felt a sharp drop in her stomach and her face grow hot. "If you can't tell me why you truly left, then the only rational reason I have to believe is that you left because of me. Because for some reason, I'm not good enough for you." She brought her hands up to her cheeks and closed her eyes. Breath, Clare. She could feel the tears begin to start and she quickly blinked them away. "Clare," she felt a warm breath hit her cheek as his face inched a little closer to hers. "That was never the reason."

Clare heard footsteps outside the door . "Your Mom?" Eli asked in a sharp whisper.

Clare shook her head, "It's probably Adam checking to make sure I haven't murdered you yet."

There was a pause in the conversation as the silence of the night enveloped them. Clare pulled back the curtain once more and stared outside. There was that lamppost, her harbor, still on and bright as it illuminated the whole street. The street was quiet, there was no one out. The homes conversing in quiet and sporadic chatter as the wind would catch a shutter and it would hit against the outside wall.

Eli had kept his face close to hers and their shoulders were now touching. The fact that their bodies were in contact just made Clare more upset with herself. Because the emotional part of her was feeling that same spark she had gotten ever since she and Eli had become a real couple. That same fluttering and content in the heart that made her peaceful knowing that he was there.

But then there was her rational mind that told her that she should really be angry. Fuming. So much that she shouldn't want to look at him. That she shouldn't want to feel him. That she shouldn't want to let him come back in her life because he was the catalyst that had broken her in the first place.

"You're arguing with yourself again," he told her. Clare felt his warm breath as he turned to look at her. He knew her too well. Even after these few years apart.

Clare wetted her lips. "It's just my heart dueling with my mind. It's normal for a situation like this," she answered as she looked up at him. Her heart began to warm from its frigid state as she stared into his green eyes.

Stop it Clare.

He wetted his lips. "Which one is winning?" He was tempting her in that way he always did. He was edging her on, willing her to make that next move that she so desperately wanted to make. He brought his face in one more inch closer to hers. Clare felt herself closing the gap slowly.

She felt a hand move up her arm, making its way up her neck and placing itself on her cheek. It was tender and warm and it was comfortable.

_It was one of those moments that was made for the movies. They were still in the library after just being confronted by Principal Simpson about the stink bomb. _

_Eli had handled it. Though she hadn't agreed with his method, it had made her feel safe. And when he placed a hand on her back, she felt at home. Peaceful, her nervous edge now lost as she felt his forehead touch hers and a second later their lips met in sweet payback. _

_How do you explain something so epic? How such an innocent kiss had turned into something more passionate. Something that had captured not only her heart but her mind's defenses and had lowered them. Something so powerful you knew it was forever._

_Something so strong it had taken hold of her and she now found herself placing a hand on the back of Eli's neck. Pulling him into her, keeping him there with her._

_And as she pulled away and attempted to catch her breath, all she could think was, wow. And when she looked up at Eli, she knew he was thinking it too. _

Not right.

Clare moved her face away and Eli dropped his hand. The loss of contact made her heart falter and it dropped. She felt it begin to numb once more.

_When Eli and Clare broke up for the first time (and last, it was there only point of separation during their whole relationship) during her junior year, Clare knew she would never be able to find anyone who could ever make her feel as alive as Eli did._

_So she settled. When Fitz asked her out on a date three months later after a tutoring session (he was still making gradual changes to get his life back into shape), Clare had said yes. _

_When Fitz first kissed her, Clare had been fine with it. _

_When Fitz asked her to be his girlfriend, Clare said okay._

_But with everything Fitz said, with every touch he gave her (whether through a friendly hug or a rough romantic kiss), Clare had lost her heart along the way. _

_It didn't feel anymore. It just accepted whatever Clare was doing with a cold shoulder and didn't bother registering how romantic or uplifting it should have been. How it should have made a normal person feel. All her heart knew was that she was with someone she didn't love._

_It wasn't until she broke off her relationship with Fitz two months later did her heart begin to defrost. When her heart began to warm and flutter and she felt hopeful. And all because Eli had told her with deep sincerity in his voice and a genuince truth to his voice,_

"Clare, I just want you to be with me again."

But this wasn't about Fitz. This wasn't about whatever ignorant argument they had had in the first place to have ever broken them up. This wasn't the two of them in their teenager years. The solution wasn't that simple.

"That won't happen unless you tell me why you really left. What could be so wrong that you won't tell me?" Clare watched has his mouth twisted in thought and a dark shadow crossed his face. "Eli," she said, calming him as she placed a hand on his cheek. "What are you protecting me from?"

Eli gave a slow shake of his head. No. He wouldn't tell her.

"Then if you can't tell me, we can never be together again," she said sharply, removing her hand away from him. "Because really, Eli, if two lovers can't trust each other, then there really is no foundation for a relationship anyway."

Clare made her way to the bedroom door and opened it hastily.

"Goodbye."


	14. Adam 5

_I've gotten such wonderful reviews. Please continue to write back your thoughts; I adore them so much! I just hope these final chapters are everything you could want and more! I want you to feel something, whatever it is. Just some emotion that this happens to awaken inside you. Because I know that when I was writing this, I had so many memories of my own friends coming up and my own feelings of how much I love and care about them. I hope you have someone that special in your life. And if you do, I hope you realized how blessed you are._

_Because, dang, I don't know what I'd do without some of these people in my life._

_And I'm sure Adam realizes that..._

**Chapter Fourteen.**

When Adam had left Clare and Eli in the front hall, he headed to the kitchen. He grabbed a glass and filled it with water from the tap. He took a long sip and set it down beside him. From the kitchen window, he could see out to the front of the street. It looked welcoming. And some part of him felt the need to give Clare and Eli some space. Even if he was giving them a whole floor.

He went back to the front door and opened it. He could hear Clare and Eli speaking, but about what, he couldn't make out. No, if he really wanted to be sneaky, he'd have to go upstairs with a cup next to the door and listen in.

But he was above that. Or at least, he'd outgrown that one part of his teenage years.

Closing the door behind him, he stuck his hands in his pockets and made his way down the sidewalk. Slowly, his feet shuffling against the cool concrete, he made his way past the other town homes in their neighborhood. It was late, so there were barely any lights on at the houses he passed. If there was one, it was usually the light inside the home that illuminated the front hallway. Waiting for that special person to return home safe and sound.

_Adam woke up from his deep sleep to a heavy banging on his front door. Groggily and irritated after having been woken up from an awesome dream (he'd somehow managed to turn into a giant Godzilla and step on Degrassi High; it was an understatement to say he still didn't hold some hostile feelings towards the place even though he'd left and graduated years ago), he made his way slowly to the door. Thankful that for once he had left the front hall light on in his lazy entrance when he came home from work._

_He opened the apartment door and rubbed his eyes. They opened and attempted to make out the figure in front of him, his mind still had yet to connect the wires. Thankfully creeper-dude opened his mouth and Adam could pick out that voice from anywhere. 'Adam, we need to talk. Can I come in?' Eli said. Though it had come out calm and collected, Adam could sense the minor shake of uncertainty. _

_Nodding his head, he waved his hand beckoning Eli to enter. 'This better be important. I was Godzilla,' Adam said. His eyes now began to focus on his best friend. He took in his disheveled appearance; it wasn't as if he had been in a fight, but more like he'd been out for a long time in a crazed fashion. 'Dude, what time is it anyways?'_

'_Three in the morning,' Eli replied quickly. 'But that's not the point, listen, I need to talk to you about Clare-'_

'_What? Did she donate another Dead Hands shirt on accident? I know that's a perfectly logical reason to get upset. But don't you think you could have called? And that way I could have ignored you and slept instead…' Adam rubbed his eyes once more as he took in the contours of Eli's face. His eyes were rimmed a light red as if he'd been crying and he watched as Eli rubbed a hand to wipe away his runny nose. _

'_Dude, have you been crying?'_

'_No,' replied Eli as he brought his sleeve to his nose once more. _

'_Right,' responded Adam slowly. 'Listen, you're okay here, man.' He closed the door and took another long look at Eli's shaken appearance. Thankful once more that he had left the light on._

Adam took a right at the corner and headed to one of the small neighborhood parks (okay, it was the only one. And the only thing that made it qualify for "park" status was the fact that there was a swing set, a small jungle gym, and a few benches facing a few defaced horse spring riders). He made his way over to one of said benches and took a deep breath. Sitting down, he let his back curve deep into the wooden seat as he let himself get comfortable.

_Adam got comfortable on the couch next to Eli and handed over the not-crying-yet-we-all-know-he-is-about-to boy a glass of water. Eli took it willingly and took a long sip. He brushed his sleeve against his mouth and shot a questioning glance at Adam before he opened his mouth._

_Then closed it._

'_Listen, dude, I'm here for you. Are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I need to call Clare?' Adam asked Eli, his words strong as he attempted to pry whatever was causing his friend to act so frantic. _

Adam took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. He was so tempted to go back and get in the middle of their conversation. Figure out what they were saying. But more importantly figure out what was going to happen next.

Was it horrible that he wished he was his geeky high school self again? He still had the comic books going for him. Maybe he'd slink right back into meddling with the lovers. Because, let's face the facts, he was basically their personal therapist during high school.

Pushing them together to solve whatever argument or problem they had had, pushing them to resolve.

_Adam made his way over to his phone and picked it up when Eli began a desperate speech, 'No, Adam, don't. I'll talk to you.'_

_Adam dropped his phone in the receiver and made his way back to the couch. Flopping next to Eli, he turned to him as an unnatural serious expression crossed his face. 'Dude, whatever it is, I can help you fix it.'_

'_No, man, that's not why I'm here. For once I have the solution.' Adam cocked his head to the side as he took in all of Eli's stoic words. Adam attempted to figure out whatever hidden message was behind them, but his mind was blank._

'_Then why are you here?' he asked quickly. _

'_Because I need you to help me fulfill it.'_

'_Okay, man, but I'm not going to every Goodwill to look for your shirt. This time I'll only go to one and dig through every clothes pile for you,' replied Adam with a chuckle. It was Adam's attempt to lighten the mood. Because really, if Adam didn't need to play referee or Doctor Love, there must be nothing really wrong, right?_

_Wrong._

Adam got off the bench and made his way back to the house. He figured he'd given the two lovers plenty of time. And by now, he figured, they'd either be hitting the sack together or Clare had surely murdered him.

He was guessing the former.

Because really, it's not like you could keep something as magnetic as the two of them apart.

'_You want to leave her?' Adam said, his face full of disbelief and intense shock._

_Eli shook his head yes and rubbed a hand against his eyes. 'Adam,' he said slowly, 'I'm leaving, too.'_

'_You mean you need a place to crash? You can stay here with me. I can give you the couch and-'_

'_No, Adam,' said Eli with more conviction. 'I'm leaving all this behind.'_

_Adam sat their stunned to silence. His thoughts began moving and he wanted to cry. But he told himself to stay strong for Eli; who was already in enough pain as it was. Eli didn't need to see his best friend cry. Adam got off the couch and began to pace back and forth. His hand up to his forehead, he attempted to think clearly._

_But that wasn't really happening. 'You're leaving?' he asked again._

'_Yes, Adam, I'm leaving,' Eli replied quietly._

'_Well, why?' shot back Adam._

_Eli sighed and looked down at his hands. 'I realized I was never good enough for her.'_

'_Bullshit, Eli! We all know that you're the best one for her. You know there's no one out there for her that could ever compete with how much you love her. Just,' Adam stopped and looked at Eli harshly. 'Bullshit.'_

'_I know,' replied Eli stubbornly._

'_Then why are you going?' questioned an upset Adam._

He hadn't gotten an answer then. He wasn't able to find some deep answer locked within himself as he walked silently back home. All he could do was hope that whatever the answer was, he would find out soon.

But more importantly, he hoped that the remedy to the answer was one that he could help supply.

'_Are you in some kind of trouble? Do you need money? Because let me go to an ATM and I'll pay off whoever is coming after you,' Adam brought one of the kitchen chairs over near the couch and sat down, its wood making a cool contrast against his heated skin. 'I can help you out with whatever-'_

'_I do need your help with something, but it's not of the financial sort.'_

'_Anything, what do you need me to do?' inquired Adam quickly._

'_It's about Clare,' Eli replied hastily. A new set of tears broke out from his eyes and he wiped them away quickly. Adam nodded his head in understanding as he waited for Eli's final wish. 'When I'm gone, can you promise me that you'll take care of her?' Eli gave Adam one final desperate, pleading look. _

_Whatever anger Adam had had towards Eli during this conversation instantly washed away with Eli's tears. Adam knew that regardless of how idiotic Eli was being, it was breaking him. And instantly Adam knew with his whole heart that he had to be his best friend now. _

'_Promise me you'll watch out for her, man?'_

What Eli hadn't realized was that Adam had always been watching out for him too. How secretly Adam had known that Eli had gone away and hidden in New York City these past three years. But he'd never gone to visit or track him down because Adam knew Eli; Eli wouldn't want to do anything until he was ready.

And Adam knew he was ready when Eli had taken the chance and had shown up at the class reunion.

He stopped underneath the lamppost in front of his home when Eli stepped out slowly, closing the door. He was leaving. Again. He had to stop him before he made the same mistake twice.

"Eli!" Adam gave a wave as Eli looked up at him. Jogging over to his front door, he took in Eli's appearance. His clothes were still the same as when he had walked in the door. Almost as if they hadn't been touched. His eyes shimmered, but Eli quickly blinked whatever tears that were forming away.

"She doesn't want me back," he whispered quietly. Eli looked down at his shoes as he shuffled them against the concrete. "I, uh, I just called the driver. He'll be here in a few minutes."

Adam took his hands out of his pockets and reached over towards Eli. Grabbing his friends in between his arms, he brought him closer as he enveloped him in a deep hug. Adam felt a the wet tears slide down Eli's face as they hit his shoulder, but he didn't think anything of it.

"I am so sorry, Eli."

He felt his shoulder grow damp as they stood there a little while longer under the darkened sky. They were hidden away in the shadows, barely noticed except for the lamppost that still illuminated the street. He continued to hold on to Eli until he heard a car approach down the lane.

They separated slowly. And with a quick nod, Eli made his way to the vehicle. He stopped and turned around, taking one final glance at Adam and the house before entering. He closed the door. And the car sped away.

Adam wiped his eyes. He hadn't realized he'd been crying.

'_Thanks, bro.'_

_They let go of each other and Eli made his way to Adam's front door. Silently, Adam followed, opening the door for his friend. _

_Eli had nearly gotten to the end of the hallway when Adam stuck his head out of the door and called out for him, 'Eli?'_

'_Yeah, Adam?' he responded._

'_This isn't goodbye!' _

Unfortunately, Adam feared that this truly was goodbye.

Slowly he entered the house again and made his way to the kitchen. His glass was still there, untouched. He traced his fingers over its shape, squinting and analyzing every detail.

But he didn't refill it.

He wasn't going to have a repeat. He was going to learn from his actions.

So instead he went up the stairs and made his way into Clare's room. It was dark, the blinds were drawn shut and the lights were off. He heard a small sniffle. He brought himself to the side of Clare's bed and laid down.

Her back was to him, and she was curled up in a ball crying underneath her Grandma covers. He didn't touch her or talk to her; he wasn't sure how to comfort her.

All he knew was he had to be there.

He didn't get up and go to the kitchen for a Mountain Dew.

He didn't get up to go to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Adam," she whispered. A new set of tears broke out and her shoulders began to shake. Adam rolled over to his side and placed an arm around Clare's shoulder.

_Adam stared at Eli and Clare. They were welcoming him. They knew what he was and they still wanted to be friends with him._

_They had questions, normal, simple, non-judging questions. _

_He was accepted. _

_They were still loyal regardless of him being transgender._

_They loved him because he was Adam. _

_And it was that moment when they were at one of the picnic tables outside of Degrassi during his first semester there, that Adam knew he had finally managed to become apart of something special. He had found friends. Really good friends._

_Ones he knew, that regardless of whatever happened, would always welcome him._

_Ones he knew, that regardless of whatever happened, would never leave him alone._

_So Adam vowed from that day on that he would always welcome them._

_But more importantly, he vowed to never let them suffer alone._

He didn't leave her alone for even a second.


	15. Eli 5

_This chapter is definitely a lot shorter than the others. But I hope you still enjoy it just as much! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! They are truly appreciated with my whole heart._

**Chapter Fifteen.**

Alone.

Utterly alone.

He hadn't cried in the car when the driver shot him a sympathetic look. He had kept his head low to keep those occupying the lobby from seeing his red-rimmed eyes. And when other people got into the elevator with him, Eli shielded his eyes away from them with a tired hand.

When Eli finally got back to his room, his knees buckling underneath him as he fell onto the bed, Eli was sure that this was what death was like.

You go through it alone. No one's there to calm you as your insides begin to falter and you begin to lose sight of what's in front of you. Your brain shuts down and the last thing to go is your heart.

It's still beating. But it's slowing down.

Slower.

And slower.

And slower.

Until it reaches that last beat. And life has finally finished.

Because once your heart goes, your whole life goes with it.

_Eli got off the subway car, his mind buzzing with what the conversation he was about to have. Was it about a wedding detail? A surprise for Clare? He'd already had the honeymoon taken care of. Clare thought they'd just go to a hotel in the city. That they would just spend their first few days as a married couple boarded up in a room facing the skyscrapers they walk past every day to work. But Eli had wanted this to be special; more special than it already was. After their first night at the Four Seasons, they'd head to England for a week. He'd rented a cottage in a remote area outside of London that they could stay at. _

_Just the two of them. It was their paradise (or soon would be). He wanted to show Clare the world. And when they were there, they could take walks around the pond nearby where everything was luscious and green. They could visit the libraries and literary halls; it was going to be Clare's weakness._

_He just hoped that his own weakness for Clare didn't get in the way of what he wanted to do..._

_He just prayed it wasn't some bridesmaid detail he had to deal with. He'd had enough of Alli's shrieking to last him a lifetime and the next one._

_He made his way up the subway steps two at a time in a rush to get to the 24-hour diner. It was late out, already a little past midnight. He only passed a few individuals, all in close-knit groups as they debated what bar to head to next._

He'd told her about being at the bar with Evan. He had told her something from that night. He wasn't leaving out every scene. This play had more than one act.

He just didn't share the most important one.

_Eli entered the diner with a ring as the bell above the door jangled. He looked around, scanning the crowd. They weren't here yet. So Eli motioned to the waitress that he and one guest would be occupying one of the booths at the back. _

_Eli sat there, tapping his fingers against the wood tabletop. He ordered a coffee and waited._

_For once, he wasn't the one who was late._

He had been too late to change Clare's mind. He had hoped that the three years would serve as a healing of a wound. A sort of way to make the fire turn to ash as it settled. He hadn't realized that maybe, by showing up, he'd just turned the fire into an inferno.

It was always about time. Time. Time. Time.

Fuck time.

_Eli glanced at the clock above the counter. It was nearing ten minutes after they were supposed to meet. Reaching into his pants pocket, he pulled out his cell. He went through the numbers until he found who he was looking for. _

_It went to the fourth ring until she answered, 'Hello, Clare Edwards speaking.'_

_'Clare? It's Eli. I was just checking to make sure-'_

_'Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks! And have a great day!"_

He had hoped to give her a final message. Just to tell her the one thought that ravaged his mind. To tell her the one thing he only truly felt that he knew was real and forever.

But she'd only seen the note.

_Eli shut his phone. He figured that Clare was probably already asleep and he didn't want to wake her. Because otherwise, she would have answered the phone on the second ring like she always does. _

_He just wanted to check on her and make sure she was alright. _

He wasn't horrible for leaving her. Lie.

He wasn't an ass for not telling her why. Lie.

He wasn't a failure because he left her alone. True.

He had pledged Adam to do something that Eli couldn't do when he left: be there for Clare.

He still watched her from afar. Like when her company had managed to sign Rowling. He couldn't recall a time in his three years alone that he had smiled so brightly. He was so proud of her.

_Eli ordered himself a coffee when the waitress came by asking for his order. She looked over to the empty seat across from him. "Can I take an order for-"_

_"Iced tea, thanks." She nodded her head at his order and left him alone. _

Alone.

Utterly alone.

_Eli had been waiting twenty minutes. He was about to get up until he heard a jingle from the entrance. He looked over._

And all he could think about was that fateful night that he had fled the one girl he truly loved, Clare.

_"Thanks for waiting, Elijah. I had a horrible time getting over here."_

_"No problem, Ms. Edwards. Now what did you want to discuss?"_

**END of Chapter Fifteen.**

**Review/Comment/Judge. Thoughts?**


	16. Clare 6

_I've appreciated all of your reviews from last chapter! I've enjoyed all of your reactions. Please continue to review; I appreciate and love it so much. Never have I gotten so many reviews/reactions/thoughts/hits to a chapter before. I thank you all so much! _

**Chapter Sixteen.**

To say Clare was distant the next few days was an understatement.

WEDNESDAY. Clare had somehow fallen asleep regardless of how hard she had been crying. It was comforting to feel Adam's arm around her and his deep, slow snores. She wasn't physically alone. But inside her, she was alone. Utterly alone. She couldn't tell you what happened on Wednesday. All she can recall clearly is that she made omelets for her mom and Adam a few hours later when they rose. Her mother may have asked her a few questions. But Clare had her fake smile down to a devoted religion; it came easily from practice. She was sure Adam was giving her worrying looks. But she never really caught them.

She just couldn't focus on the moment.

_The first time Clare saw Eli, like really saw him, was the day they ditched Ms. Dawes and her English class and made their way to a bench just down the street to work on English essays. _

_Yeah, she knew how odd that sounded. Eli had promptly told her that when she had settled down next to him on a bench with a cup of coffee she had just bought to wake her up (not that she needed the caffeine boost when her heart was already beating rapidly from being near skin contact with him). Skipping class to do work was (insert Eli's sarcasm) a first. _

_They had conversed. And for the first time in a few days, Clare felt like she could be honest. Show her real feelings. Because even though her body was electrified with sexual fascination, her emotions had been kept away, tucked behind the Saint Clare façade. She let her witty remarks fall easily from her tongue. But then she could be soft as she shared with him a personal problem that even Alli didn't know about: her parents constant arguing. _

_And he had taken it. Accepted it. And instead of wallowing in emotions (straight-up Alli advice), he challenged her. Scream. _

_It was more than a challenge; it was advice. Because without even realizing it, Clare had been drawn out of her shell and given one of the greatest moments ever: freedom from her outside-world-driven-self. And all because she had been pushed by none other than her English partner._

_And soon she found herself teasing Eli to do it, too. To rejoice in the freedom she had just found. But he let her claim it as her own. The short space they had between each other had pushed Eli back against a telephone pole and soon enough, emptiness was broken and replaced by touch. Contact. Physical feeling._

_And as the current flowed through her, she couldn't help but take one long look at him. She looked into his eyes and saw that deep green color. The kind of green that you see after the rain has fallen and left, leaving only dark clouds as a reminder. It's the color that has taken over the forest floor and welcomes you to its peace. _

_She was so focused she hadn't realized how her head was slowly moving closer to his._

She broke away.

THURSDAY. That was a blur. She did her routine under the watchful eyes of Adam. And now a concerned helicopter mother. She excused herself from dinner early on during the meal saying she was sick. She needed to be alone.

But she needed something a little bit more than that.

'_Eli,' she said quietly. He turned his head from his gaze at the ceiling and looked over at her. They were in Clare's college dorm room. Alli, her roommate, was out for the night partying up with some frat boy (and somewhere in the dark corner, was probably Dave looking after her longingly). They were snuggled close together as they laid on Clare's twin bed. So close that their legs were intertwined and Eli had an arm around Clare's waist as added protection to keep her from rolling off and hitting the floor. _

'_Yeah, Blue Eyes?' _

'_You know I need you in my life, right?' she looked up at him with hopeful eyes. _

_He smirked. 'Well, duh,' he replied. _

_She gave his shoulder a playful whack. 'Seriously,' she began again. This time her eyes growing softer as her voice gained more conviction. 'I need you.'_

_He tightened his hold on her waist and brought her a little closer. He gave a kiss on her forehead tenderly before he looked down at her. 'Clare,' he replied slowly. He brushed away a curl that had fallen on her cheek before he finished his words in a near-whisper, 'I need you, too.'_

The need was mutual.

And yet Clare still went to sleep alone.

FRIDAY. Today.

It began like crap. Adam had slept on the couch last night with a simple excuse of, "I don't want to get sick, too." Clare was thankful that her mother ate up the words with a smile for once and didn't bother questioning. But just because her mother wasn't questioning, didn't mean Adam wasn't inquiring.

"Clare," he said. Clare groaned as she was pulled out of her peaceful dream state. She looked at the clock on her table. She had somehow managed to sleep well past noon. She turned over and saw Adam at the doorway, still in his morning sweats. "What are you doing with your life?"

Clare rubbed her eyes as she sat up. "Living it," she replied sarcastically.

"No," Adam responded, his voice cool. "You're fucking it up."

Clare shot Adam a look of distaste at his words. "I'm sorry?" she responded. Her lips twisted in confusion as Adam made his way to her bed and sat down on the end of it. His eyes grew a little softer as he took in Clare's expression.

"What I'm trying to say is," he said slowly. His voice now more tender than before, "I think you're making a big mistake with letting Eli go this time. I mean I know that-"

"He left me," she said. Her tone flat with hidden pain.

"Yeah, and now you're leaving him!" Adam interjected feverishly.

"What?"

"You heard me, Clare. You're the one leaving him now."

"No I'm not!" Clare spat back.

"Yes," replied Adam. He took a deep breath before he continued. "Yes, you are."

"Oh, really, Adam?" Clare replied angrily. She shook her head in displeasure. "Explain to me how on earth I could be the one to leave him even though he already left?"

"Because he came back for you when he turned up for the reunion a week ago. You know he showed up for you! He wanted -no- needed you to welcome him back in your life-"

"As what? My one true love? How pathetic," she replied bitterly.

"Clare," replied Adam testily. "I don't know what he's supposed to be. All I know is that you and he need each other. He just," Adam ran his fingers through his hair impatiently. "He just needed you to accept him so he could finally exist!"

"Exist? He's a breathing human being, Adam. If he wasn't breathing he'd be dead," Clare shot back.

"You know he's close to it. Just like you are. You keep denying how you feel but I know. I know, Clare." His voice got a little softer as Clare looked away from him. She wrapped her arms around her chest as he continued slowly and carefully. "I know how you truly feel. I know you don't feel alive because you're not with him."

_It wasn't because he had kissed her (though she was still blushing at the thought of their passionate lip-locking from earlier this evening). It wasn't even due to their skin making contact at all. _

_They were outside in front of Clare's house, looking up at the night sky from their spot on the front lawn. They were laying down, a few inches apart (they were still a little new to "couple" interaction). Clare's hands rest on her stomach, feeling her stomach methodically move up and down slowly as she breathed. 'The stars are just gorgeous,' she whispered._

_Eli let out a peaceful sigh. 'It could never compare to what I'm looking at now.' Clare turned her head and caught the eyes of Eli. _

_'You're such a tease,' she replied with a smirk. _

_'No,' he replied with all seriousness. 'I just know beauty when I see it.'_

_And that had sent an electric spark through her. Something had ignited because of his words. Clare felt light; she felt...unbelievable. Indescribable. Bliss. Happiness. Heaven._

_This is what it is to be alive._

"Can't you see, Clare?" Adam questioned her quickly. "You still love him."

_Their conversation had turned to a battle of English wit to see who could spit out the best quote where the moon acted as subject. Lame, from an outside view. But to Eli and Clare, this was a normal challenge they gave each other._

_Clare kept the battle going to round five as she quickly replied, 'Reach for the moon. For even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.'_

_Eli laughed. 'No, Clare, that's not how it goes. It's really supposed to go: reach for the moon. For even if you miss you'll land upon Uranus.' _

_'Cheater,' Clare giggled. 'You can't go nearly replicating my quote!'_

_'I just did! Besides, Saint Clare, there were never rules saying I couldn't!' Eli replied with a smirk._

_'Fine,' Clare huffed. 'New rule: the quotes have to be entirely different...They can't be too similar in style.' _

_'So do I have a punishment?' Eli questioned suggestively._

_'Yeah,' Clare replied as a light blush spread among her cheeks. 'You have to come up with a new quote now to count as your turn.'_

_There was a pause and Clare turned her head to face Eli. He was in deep concentration, his eyes caught on the on the twinkling stars. 'Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.'_

_'And what is that supposed to mean?' Clare inquired quietly._

_'Limitations,' he replied. 'You should never accept them...My Dad taught me that.' _

_'Oh,' Clare responded. Eli turned his head towards her and she caught that loving expression he often gave her._

_'Just don't ever settle for the limitations you give yourself. Because I know, in that mind of yours, Blue Eyes, there's going to be a time when you're going to stop yourself from doing what you really want to do because you think you shouldn't.'_

There was a light knocking on Clare's door. Thank God Adam had decided to close it before he woke her up. "Just a minute!" Clare responded quickly. But the intruder didn't bother waiting.

"Clare," began Helen when she opened the door swiftly. She poked her head in and Clare took in her mother's worried face. Helen stepped inside the room. She was still in her bath robe; she was never this lazy when it came to appearance. Even in her own home. She stood there wringing her hands. Helen looked over at Adam's light-red face from near-yelling at Clare during the conversation. Meanwhile, Clare could only imagine how pink her cheeks were at that moment, too. Frustration. Deep frustration.

"Just a lovers spat, mother! Nothing to worry about-"

"I think we need to talk."


	17. Helen

_As always, thanks for the best reviews I have ever received in my life. I hope you all know that I am forever grateful for the kind words you've given me. I just hope that this chapter is still worthy of them. _

**Chapter Seventeen.**

Helen Edwards was a simple woman who held traditional taste. She loved her family, especially her daughters. And she would do anything to make sure they had the perfect life.

Since she, Helen, had clearly lost it.

Her Christian family had broken apart when her husband, Randall, had divorced her. It wasn't unexpected. It was just tragic. He had been having an affair with one of his co-workers, she had been told by her divorce lawyer. She was younger, prettier. Everything Helen once was when she was twenty-five.

Then there was the fact that her oldest daughter, Darcy, had been raped. If only she had protected her. If only she hadn't left Darcy alone that weekend. If only she had prayed a little bit longer at each service to keep all the worlds demons at bay and away from her daughter. Now her broken daughter. Her non-virgin daughter. Her suicidal daughter who had left her to work in Africa for a semester. But over a decade later, Darcy had yet to come home. It was always Helen who was coming to visit. Helen was the one always calling to remind her that she loved her.

Her family errors fueled Helen's protective nature over Clare. Because unlike the other two people she loved dearly, she vowed she would protect Clare as much as possible. Protect her from a marriage gone wrong. And protect her from boys who break a girls heart and vows. She had seen the aftermath with her own eyes. And worse, she had felt it herself.

"Mom," Clare began quickly. "We didn't mean to wake you. I'm sor-"

"I know you're not married," she said simply.

Adam's jaw dropped an inch and Clare's face went blank in confusion. "What?" Clare asked quickly.

"I overhead your conversation Tuesday night," Helen began quietly. "With Elijah," she added.

_At first, Helen accepted him. Okay, to be honest, she did her best. How was she supposed to defend Clare's choice of dating a dark-clothed boy who drove a hearse to the other ladies who frequented the church benefits? A hearse! No respectable mother would have allowed it. But with her squabbles with Randall, she chalked it up to Clare's personal rebellion. _

_And so she had let it go, figuring she would break up with him at some point._

_Was it truly horrible, that during Clare's junior year, she had a genuine smile on her face the morning Clare came downstairs for breakfast after breaking up with Eli the night before? _

_She had listened from the door, waiting to hear the final moment of the climax. Clare would see it as horrible; but Helen knew it was for her own good. 'Eli,' Clare had said (Helen could picture the silent tears that were falling down Clare's pale face). 'We're done.'_

_Helen had to cover her mouth to stop her happy squeal._

"That was you outside my door!" accused Clare.

Helen nodded. "I heard some shouting and I went to go investigate. I wasn't expecting to get a whole play-by-play of everything…"

"Mom," Clare said quickly. "I didn't want to lie to you but you were-"

"That's not the point right now," said Helen as she waved her off with the flick of a hand. "The point is, I just wanted to tell you that," Helen looked deeply into Clare's eyes. They were impatient, full of want. She paused, but then soon lifted it as she spoke honestly, "I'm the reason Eli left."

"What!" Adam cried. Though still and quiet during the whole conversation, he now began to speak up. "What? What did you do!" He cried frustrated.

Helen held up a hand signaling him to hold back and pause for a moment. "Let me explain, Clare. Before you both interrupt me, I need to tell you what happened that night."

_Clare had gotten back together with Eli only a few months later. However, Helen did not lose hope that she could still save her daughter from a failed marriage. But most importantly, a broken heart._

_So she waited until Clare started college. They were still together._

_Four years later, Helen banked on their break-up happening right after graduation. No such luck._

_When Helen heard they had gotten engaged, Helen was in a rage. The obstacles of life hadn't been enough of a stop for them to get off the relationship train. So she decided to take matters into her own hands. _

_A month before their wedding, Helen received an important call late at night. One of her contacts had been able to find her an employment opening for a company in New York City. She bought a train ticket. And then made the most important call of her life, "Elijah, we need to talk about Clare. Can I meet you for coffee in twenty minutes?"_

_She was late. She knew she would be. She was on the other side of town talking with a private investigator as they concluded their last meeting. She had spent a fortune on him, a fortune she knew she could barely scrape together. But it was worth it if it meant Clare would marry someone better for her in the end._

_Someone who wasn't Elijah._

"I was the one who told him to not marry you." Clare opened her mouth to comment harshly but Helen held up her hand again. "I had good intentions, Clare. So stop judging me until I get to the end."

'_Sorry I'm late, Elijah. I had a horrible time getting over here.'_

'_No problem, Ms. Edwards. Now what did you want to discuss?'_

_She sat down and took a sip of her iced tea. He was watching her expectedly, waiting for her to speak. Wiping her mouth with a napkin, Helen began the conversation off slowly, easing Eli into it. 'It's about your wedding with my daughter.'_

_Eli nodded his head in understanding. 'Sure, Ms. Edwards. Is there anything I can help you with?'_

'_Actually, there is.' Helen's eyes pointed at him and gave her a confused glance. 'I want you to end your engagement with my daughter.'_

_He looked at her, shocked. But then the color on his cheeks flared. 'You want me to do what?' he replied in a sharp whisper._

'_You heard me correctly, Elijah. I want you to break up with my daughter. For good.'_

'_I don't think I can do that, Ms. Edwards,' Eli began politely. Regardless of how full of ire he was. 'I love her,' he said, gaining conviction. 'I couldn't do that to her.'_

'_You can and you will. Because I know you, Elijah. I know what you and Clare haven't told me.'_

'_Like what__?' he replied, challenging her._

_She accepted. 'Like the fact that you did drugs during your early years of high school. The fact that you basically had a hand in murdering your ex-girlfriend. And lets not forget that drunkard of a father who wound up in jail.'_

'_You have no right to bring this up,' Eli shot back._

'_But I do. I'm Clare's mother.'_

"I was looking out for you, Clare. I'm your mother, it's what I do. I was trying to protect you from him breaking your heart later on."

"Mom," Clare interjected. Her voice softened, "It still broke when he left."

'_We both know that in the back of your mind, way back there in that dark abyss you keep yourself in, you're going to start questioning. When you're with Clare for as long as I was with Randall, you'll start questioning yourself. Will I do drugs again? Will I end up an alcoholic and dead beat? What if I'm the last person to see Clare alive after I just argued with her?'_

_Eli turned away, a hand covering his eyes. 'Please, stop,' he said quietly._

_But Helen would have none of it. 'You're just like Randall, you know that, right? That same desire for life. He was always chasing it, even as we got older. And he ran off with a slut.' Helen's tongue was dripping with acidity and she had a sharp bitter taste in her mouth. 'He broke my heart. I won't have you breaking Clare's, too.'_

"I brought up his past. I brought up all of his mistakes," Helen said sharply. "It was easy, quite frankly, convincing him to leave. He already had that fear of messing things up from the start. All I did was expedite the process."

"Mom! How could you!"

"I did it for your own good, Clare. See? He still left you. Alone. Weak. Suicidal. He did that to you. And now you're-"

"Not better off."

Helen paused. "I see that now," she said quietly. Her eyes on her daughter's face as fresh tears began to brim from her blue eyes and onto her cheeks. "I didn't realize that Eli would be the sort of person who-"

"Would constantly still be watching over Clare even when he was gone?" Adam turned to Clare as he placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "That night he left, before he got on the train, he told me to look after you. He told me that he was leaving and to promise him that I'd watch out for you." Clare's head fell against his chest as a new set of tears began to fall. He wrapped his arm fully around her shoulders as he looked up at Helen. "So get to your point," he said swiftly.

'_I'll always love her, Ms. Edwards,' he said with genuine honesty seeping out of him. 'I'll always love her.'_

'_Then I guess we'll just have to wait and see if she'll continue loving you.'_

"When I was listening to the end of your conversation, I realized that the only reason you and Eli weren't going to get back together wasn't because you didn't love him anymore. It was because Eli didn't tell you that it was I who convinced him to leave," said Helen slowly, her fingers fumbling with her bathrobe belt. She looked down at her daughter's tear-streaked face as she spoke with more conviction, "He was protecting you from hating me." Helen felt her eyes tear up and she quickly blinked them away. "But if hating me means you'll finally be with the one you love, happily, then I can live with that."

Clare turned her face away from Adam's chest. "And?" she inquired quietly.

"It takes a great man to admit defeat. But an even greater one to seek forgiveness," Helen replied quietly. She made her way to the bed and sat down next to her daughter. Gliding a finger next to Clare's face to move a curl away, she caught a glimpse of her old Clare.

Alive.

"Clare," Helen began. "I think it's time you go find him."


	18. Eli 6

_Once again, I extend a large thank you to everyone who has reviewed and read so far. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I have when I'm writing it. I really, truly hope you do. This chapter is going to be a lot shorter than the previous ones. But I still hope it satisfies you. _

**Chapter Eighteen.**

Eli had spent the past two days working. Hard. And without pause. It was his coping method of choice. One better than drug use. One better than the bottle. And one better than arguing.

'_Clare,' he said quietly. They were sitting outside of Degrassi on the cool grass near the parking lot. Somehow, he had convinced her to meet him. It had been five months since their break-up but he was still thinking about her constantly. 'Clare, I just want you to be with me again.' _

_He heard her let out a long, trapped breath. 'Good,' she answered quietly. 'Because I want you to be with me again, too.' She smiled at him. For the first time in months his heart began to defrost and he was feeling closer to life than he had in a long time._

_He turned over and looked at her. He threaded a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to say. Her eyes began to grow with worry and Eli calmed her with a touch of his hand to her cheek. 'I'm just afraid that I'll make the same mistakes.'_

'_That's no reason to break up with me,' she admonished. _

'_No, maybe not. But-'_

_She cut him off quickly, 'If anything, it's a reason to stay with me forever.' A smirk grew across her lips, 'I'll keep you away from your demons, Goth Boy.'_

Saint Clare. He was her personal heaven. No wonder it felt like shit when he fell so far.

'_Have you two gotten back together, yet?' Adam teased as he sat down near them._

'_Nearly,' Clare shot back. 'That is until you showed up and interrupted the moment.'_

'_What can I say?' Adam replied. 'A matchmaker deserves to watch a happy ending!'_

But happy endings weren't meant for normal lives. They were just a figment of imagination, a hope that would never come true.

Because maybe, they just didn't come true for him.

_He kissed her. She hadn't been expecting it. She was about to shoot back another tease at Adam when he touched her cheek and brought her face towards his. He leaned in, her eyes in shock as he pressed his lips to hers. _

_He wrapped a hand around the back of her neck, twisting a finger around a curl. She still hadn't reacted yet, he moved to pull back. Maybe she didn't want to get back together. But soon enough he felt her warm hand snaking its way up his neck, returning the pull._

_He wrapped his other arm around her waist. He could feel her moan as her chest rose. And God, he wanted her forever._

He wanted her forever.

When Friday rolled around finally, he was so sleep deprived from working constantly that he slept in until noon. He would have slept longer had it not been for a wake-up call from the front desk telling him check out time was an hour ago. And did he need a car to take him to the airport?

He said he'd be down in a half-an-hour. He'd leave a huge tip.

He took a short shower; too much time to the mind without a proper distraction was a catalyst for disaster. He threw his clothes into his suitcase and rested the contraption next to the door. For the next fifteen minutes, Eli wanted to look over the city one more time. He turned on the news channel for background noise, something that would capture his minds attention to keep him from thinking too hard. He made his way to the large glass window and looked out.

_It's a different sight seeing Clare when you're with her than when you're not with her._

_For example: when you're not with her, you focus on whose hands are on her. But when you're with her, it's all about where are your hands not going to touch her._

There wasn't an inch of that city that hadn't been touched when he'd been with Clare. She had forced him to explore. And excitedly, he went with her. There was so much to discover: a mural, a street vendor, cracked cement. It was the details that they picked out. The details that were spotted only by those worthy enough to see it.

_Example two: when you're not with Clare, you watch whose eyes she has decided to meet in the hallways. But when you're with her, it's all about getting her eyes to stay on you._

They had watched the city at every time of day. Sunrise. High noon. Sunset. The way that the sun managed to always shine brightly on one skyscraper for a moment. To let one tree filled with newly-fallen raindrops glisten. It gave everyone a chance to glow, everyday.

_Example three: when you're not with Clare, you wonder who she's going to laugh with today. But when you're with her, it's all about getting her to laugh at you._

There had never been a dull moment. There had never been a depressing moment. There had never been a vexing moment. Sure, there had been seconds of horrible feelings. Sure, there had been a short blink of transgressions. But moments meant that you had given a second thought to them.

Whenever they had argued, there was only one thought after:

I'm sorry.

Eli traced the last few outlines of the buildings near the hotel before he turned away. He wanted this place forever in his memory. Because even though he was leaving without Clare, this place would always be home.

_Example four: when you're not with Clare, you always wonder who she's going to leave with. But when you're with her, it's all about getting her to leave with you._

He grabbed his suitcase and shut the door behind him. He made his way to the lobby and paid for the room. He made sure to leave a large tip behind.

He got in the black car and the driver took him to the airport.

He went through the check-in line. He got his boarding pass.

He went through security.

And he waited for his plane. He bought a newspaper. He read it. And he waited.

_Example five: when you're not with Clare, you always worry who she's going to give her heart to. But when you're with her, it's all about winning it._

And maybe he just lost for good.

**END of Chapter Eighteen.**

**Review/Comment/Judge. Thoughts? Feelings? **


	19. Clare 7

_Final Chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. Let me begin first by saying how appreciative I am towards everyone. You are all truly magnificent. Thanks for being so kind and wonderful in your reviews. I just hope that this chapter meets all your expectations. This story is for you._

**Chapter Nineteen.**

"Clare," Helen began. "I think it's time you go find him."

Clare was in a mental stupor. A loss for words. Her body wasn't really comprehending the fact that she had to get moving. All she could really focus on was the fact that she still loved Eli.

She still loved Eli.

She felt a tugging on her arm. "Clare," Adam urged her. "We need to go."

_She was having a dream. Though Clare was unconscious, she was aware of that fact. Eli had left. There was no way that he could be lying in bed with her right now. But here he was, dream Eli, laying next to her brushing the curls out of her eyes._

_Their legs were intertwined. He had an arm around her shoulder. She had a hand against his chest and was twiddling with one the lapels of the jacket he wore to the bar earlier that night. _

'_I'm leaving you, Clare,' dream Eli said. _

She snapped back to reality and her body met full force with her brain. Quickly, she got off the bed and began running down the stairs behind Adam. "Clare!" Clare stopped and turned, looking at her mother's worried gaze. "You're still in your pajamas."

"Now is not the time, mother!" She took a quick look at herself: old university shirt and shorts. She could manage. She slipped on her black flats and grabbed a jacket from the front hall closet. Grabbing her purse, she opened the door.

"Clare! Take this!" Her mother was now offering her a pair of jeans. "Just put them on in the car."

"Fine," she acknowledged. Running behind Adam she made her way to the car. She opened the door and got in the front passenger seat. She heard another slam and looked behind her.

Her mother would be joining them. In her bathrobe. "Three's a good number. Like the father, the son, and the holy ghost."

Adam turned to look at Clare impatiently. She could already hear his voice now: there's another association with three. It's called the middle finger.

"Just drive, Adam!" she commanded him.

She began tugging at her shorts and pulling on her jeans. She felt her mother begin to comb out a few knots in her hair, but Clare just shook her off. "Please, not now," she said quietly.

_Clare wouldn't have it. 'You can't go. Not now. Please?' she asked, pleading with him just to grant her a few more moments of touch. To give her a few more moments of being there. _

_His fingers traced the contours of Clare's face as he let out a content sigh. 'Anything for you, Clare.'_

_She reached up to grab his hand. His touch would never fail to make her feel alive. His hand rested on her cheek, covered by Clare's own delicate hand. _

_I feel you._

They got on the highway and Clare began to finally realize just where Adam was heading. "The airport?" she asked aloud.

Adam turned to her, "I overheard his conversation with his boss at the picnic last week. He said he'd be on a Friday night flight out to New York."

"Well, can't you stop him?" Clare asked urgently. Her thoughts began to flicker back to that night Eli showed up at her house. He knew their address. Because someone had called. "You have his number! Why aren't you calling him?"

"Because I'm driving erratically like an elementary school bus driver!"

"Well, then, give me your phone! I'll call him!" Clare replied hastily. Adam pulled out his cell from his pants pocket and tossed it over to her. Her lap caught it and she picked it up. She scrolled through the contacts until she found it: Goth Boy.

"Seriously, Adam?" Clare commented. She brought the phone to her ear as it rang. Her fingers tapped against her leg while her other hand held the phone still.

First ring.

Second ring.

Third ring.

Fourth ring.

"This is Elijah Goldsworthy. I'm sorry I can't get to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks."

Clare cancelled the call and looked over at Adam, her eyes a mix of anger and dejected hope. "He must have already silenced his phone for the flight. Damn it, I hate airline regulations." She threaded her fingers through her hair, "What if he already left?" she whispered.

"Clare, stop it." Clare turned and saw the solemn face of her mother. "You're going to make it. Everything will be fine."

_He placed a kiss on her forehead tenderly as he began to lift himself from the bed. But Clare held tightly onto his hand, keeping it against her cheek. She wouldn't let go._

'_Please, Eli, don't go,' she whispered. _

'_Everything will be fine,' dream Eli told her. He never lied. 'Everything will be fine.'_

_Everything will be fine._

They hit a stop light in front of the airport. Clare whipped out her credit card and license so she could run up to the front desk. Meanwhile Adam was taking that two second pause to send a text to Eli.

Green. They whizzed through traffic lines and soon they were speeding through airport destinations. DROP-OFF. Clare told him to pull over and she opened the door as he barely halted to a stop.

"Anything from him?" she asked urgently.

He shook his head no.

_He made an attempt to relieve his hand from her grasp against her cheek, but she held on tight. She gave a slight shake of her head, her final no. 'Eli, please don't go.'_

_His thumb moved from underneath her hand. It was brushing away something. A tear, Clare soon came to realize. She didn't know she had been crying this whole time._

She ran to the nearest airline desk and shot through the line, cutting off everybody. She made her way to a desk, quickly telling the woman she needed a ticket to New York.

"I'm sorry but you'll have to get in line with-" the woman looked up from her computer and looked at Clare. Her eyes were close to failing as a barrier as a new set of tears came to its edge. Clare quickly wiped them away. Her face was pale, nervous. She was losing hope. "Sure, sweetie. The next one is at-"

"I'll take it," Clare replied urgently as she handed over her credit card.

She got her boarding ticket.

She rushed through security.

She raced through the International Terminal.

She looked around urgently.

She hurriedly retraced possible steps he may have taken.

She asked around feverishly.

He wasn't there.

_He's about to say something. But just before the words come out, she closed her eyes to blink away the tears. When she opens them, she's back in her room. Dream Eli is gone. _

_She looks around, there's only the illumination of the moon to offer her direction. There's no one there._

_There's no one there._

She stood at the gate. FLIGHT 261 TO NEW YORK CITY: DEPARTED.

He was gone.

_It's the first thought that enters her mind. It's like suffocation. It takes over you and you just want to die. _

_He left you, Clare. He. Left. You._

She's standing facing the window and she sees herself. Clare. The one who woke up from the dream. The girl who is now all alone. Again. She missed him. Her heart was broken. Her hair frazzled from unrest and her eyes red-rimmed from tears.

She's that girl again.

_There's a white lid in the sink and an orange pill bottle in her hand. There are white pills inside it. Ones she knows she's about to take. She's nervous at the prospect of death. _

_Her eyes glanced at the mirror. She sees her reflection._

_She looked like hell. And she felt like it too._

She lets out a jagged breath. She hadn't realized she'd been holding it in.

She's growing light headed. She can't focus.

_She takes a good, long look at herself. It's the only thing she can seem to focus on; her eyes betraying her. They just keep staring. _

_She's staring at herself and all she can think is that she's alone._

_She's alone._

She's alone. No one has bothered to approach her. No one has bothered to ask her what's wrong. She's a loner in the airport. A girl in jeans, a university shirt, and a jacket. She's like everyone else.

She's not special. They couldn't pick her out from a crowd.

She's human.

_And humans make mistakes. We don't live in heaven, after all. She takes one more look at herself and turns off the light. _

_She doesn't want to look at herself anymore._

She closes her eyes, willing this to somehow all go away. She feels a lump in her throat grow as she continues to fight her tears.

She doesn't want to fight anymore.

_The lights are off and it's just her. The lights are off and she can feel her hand skillfully pour a few pills into her hand. She feels them, they're a weight slowly drowning her hand. _

_She puts them in her mouth and she feels them there. They're trapped, they don't know which way to go; is it up or down. She swallows them down with water, deciding for them._

_She repeats the process._

_She repeats the madness._

_It's her last thought that she remembers._

_He. Left. You._

Not this time. It was the opposite.

She had told him goodbye.

But the truth was, she hadn't meant it.

Not one little bit.

_That was the last thing she thought when she was conscious. But when she hit the bathroom floor, Clare became aware of what dream Eli was going to say before she had awakened. He's looking at her with love-filled eyes. It's the most important five words that he's ever spoken to her. _

_BONUS! 33 Down: Five words. The most important phrase of my life. I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U-B-L-U-E-E-Y-E-S._

'_I love you, Blue Eyes.'_

"I love you too, Eli," she whispers.

"Is that so?"

She whips her head around and opens her eyes. She's shocked and she doesn't know what to say. But she doesn't have to. Because a second later his lips are against hers and they're moving into each other. Gravitating and reaching. His hands are in her hair and hers are wrapped around his neck. His hands roam to her back and he envelops her into him. He's not letting go. Nor is she of him.

It's not until she finally has to breath does she pull away. Her hands still wrapped around him, she catches her breath.

This is what it means to be alive.

"I got Adam's text," he smirked. "Something about how you were coming after me and if my butt ever touched that plane seat he would personally kick my ass." He's smiling at her and everything's okay.

"I didn't mean to tell you goodbye. I just-"

He silences her with a chaste kiss. "I know."

She leans in closer and their lips meet. She's pulling him closer, urging him to stay. She can feel her chest rising and her cheeks flushing. His fingers are wrapped deeper into her tresses and her own fingers are now barely slipping underneath his shirt collar behind his neck.

Their lips are smashing together with a force comparable to destruction. Except they're creating. It's accumulating within them and as they're heavy breathing becomes in sync, the catalyst shoots off.

It's the return of passion. Romance.

Love.

Life.

It had never left. Regardless of how hard you may have tried to deny it, it's there. You can't kill it, can't ignore it, you can't wave it off.

There had never been such a thing as a goodbye.

Not by a long shot.

**_END._**

**Reviews/Comments/Judge. Thoughts? Feelings? **

**Perhaps you want an epilogue? **

**Since this is the final chapter, let me extend my greatest thanks to you all for reading and reviewing. So with a warm heart, dear reader, I thank you. **


	20. Adam 7

_I was weary about doing one of these, but I got a few responses urging me to do so. I hope you enjoy it just as much as you enjoyed the story. This is the final tie of all loose threads._

**Epilogue.**

_Adam could probably safely bet you two limited edition Chinatown Saga comics that they were having an intense make-up-make-out session in front of the whole airport in the International Wing. Thankfully, Adam didn't have to witness his two best friends swapping spit because he was still waiting in the car. With Helen. _

_He didn't really want to talk to her. And for once, he rationalized happily, Helen's mouth had been shut due to regret. Who knew helicopters had emotions? An hour ticked by and she kept opening and closing her mouth slowly. She was deciding something; attempting to say something. But as for what, Adam couldn't really guess-_

'_I'm sorry,' she whispered. He would have barely caught it if he hadn't been so intent on not hearing her say any words at all. Ding dong. Helicopter landing! This is Helen now putting her feet on the ground and touching sanity! _

'_I know,' Adam replied back simply. _

_He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he began mentally debating whether to text Eli again. Gosh, of all times for Clare to act on sexual gratification, it just had to be now. He shot a glance at the elder woman in the backseat. And Adam just had to be here with her while they waited for Clare's modesty to kick in._

_Matchmaker Adam can call the shots, too, you know. He pulled out his cell and selected Eli's number. Impatiently, he waited for Eli to pick up. Three long rings later, he finally got him, 'So I take it you found her?'_

'_Yeah,' replied Eli. Adam could feel the sexual tension emulating through the phone signal. 'Thanks. For everything.'_

'_No sweat. But listen, you two left me with Clare's mother. And so-'_

'_We'll be right there. But give me a minute. I need to kiss her again.'_

'_Suave, Lover Boy. Just make sure you save some of that passion for the kiss I'm going to witness. A matchmaker deserves to watch a happy ending!'_

Adam's standing in an itchy tux. There's a box in his pocket that he keeps opening and closing. His impatience growing as he's waiting for the bride to come. He shoots a glance to the man next to him. He's smiling, of course. But his eyes are a mess of hopeful to anxiety.

"Eli," Adam whispers. "You'll be fine."

And soon enough the wedding march proceeds. Alli comes forward in her pale blue Maid-of-Honor dress, a bouquet of violets in her hand. And a single pause later, there's Clare.

She's happy, that grin on her face more pure and wider than any he'd ever seen. She's walking slowly and he can hear Eli's breath hitch. She had stolen Goth Boy's breath away.

He would start cheering right now if Eli hadn't warned him earlier to keep his yahoo's to a minimum unless he wanted his butt kicked. Eli didn't want the added humiliation tacked on to the fact that Clare had finally gotten him to wear a tie that wasn't black.

_When Eli and Clare made it to the car five minutes later, Adam could have screamed boo-yah out of joy. But he didn't, because that would have probably ruined the moment. _

_He was watching them walk back, their fingers intertwined. Eli had his suitcase in his other hand. And Clare's other hand was fiddling with one of the buttons on her jacket. Their footsteps were in sync. _

_It was the way they were looking at each other. Happiness. Contentment. Bliss. _

_Heaven._

_He didn't want to break it._

It's that moment when Clare finally reaches the platform and stands next to Eli. It's that small smile they give each other that makes Adam sure that this is forever.

Because really, who could second guess that look they shared?

The wedding ceremony continues and soon enough, the priest is calling out, "Objections?"

'_Listen, I am so sorry,' Helen began. They were standing outside of the car as Adam helped Eli with his bag. She had tears forming in her eyes and she was sniffling. 'So, so sorry.' _

_Clare stood there, unsure of what to do. Her lips were twisted in consideration. Meanwhile, Eli was just dumbfounded that Ms. Edwards was even there. _

'_We can talk about this later,' Adam interjected. _

Three long seconds later, there was still a silent crowd. Adam looked over at Helen, whose eyes were gazing intently on Clare. Her mouth parted in a loving smile.

And all Adam can do is silently thank God that Helen had finally given up her battle against Eli.

'_So what about the office? I thought you had some huge proposal you were working on?' Adam questioned as he made his way to the driver's seat._

_Eli got in the back with Clare as Ms. Edwards moved to the front passenger seat. His arms were wrapped around Clare and her head was leaning on his shoulder. 'They'll understand.'_

They hadn't. They fired Eli. But then before Eli left his boss's office, he was re-hired. The boss man asked to see just who was stealing away his pride and joy of the company, and in walked Clare. She was smiling in a floral dress and cardigan. She had joined Eli on his trip back to New York City on his early Saturday morning flight.

The boss man was charmed by her. And as Adam stole a quick look at the old man, he saw him rub a pudgy finger against his eye.

Adam's attention was stolen away as he's asked for the ring. Pulling out the box, he hands it to Eli.

Everything is silent.

_The conversation dies and there's comfortable silence. Ms. Edwards is gazing out the window, a thoughtful expression on her face. Adam's eyes are on the road. He's navigating around the other cars and his eyes look up for a second into the rear-view mirror._

It's the kiss. Husband and wife. They're trying to keep it modest but Adam can tell they just want to get to the hotel room stat.

People are applauding and whistling. But all Adam does is smile inwardly at himself. Good job, Machismo. For a lawyer, you make one hell of a matchmaker.

'_Clare,' Adam says as they near their town home. 'I would like to use my favor now.'_

_Clare turns her head away from Eli as she seeks clarification, 'You mean the one I owe you for becoming my fake husband?'_

'_Yeah, that's the one,' he says with a grin. 'If I'm a single man again, I'm going to be on the prowl. I need you to spread the word that Machismo is playing the field again and is looking for Mrs. Awesome.'_

_She nods her head as Eli hides a smirk, 'Anything.'_

He follows Clare and Eli down the aisle and he glances to the girl sitting in the middle row close to the aisle. Her hair is in its natural chocolate brown curls and her winning smile is shining. She's wearing some designer dress that Adam doesn't know the name of. But he doesn't care because she just looks beautiful.

He closes the door for Eli and Clare as they settle into their getaway car. They wave at him, and Adam waves back happily.

This wasn't goodbye.

Like, duh.

_**Truly the end.**_

******Reviews/Comments/Judgements. Thoughts?**

**Once more, thank you for all of your time spent reading and reviewing. It's been wonderful.**


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